Sikh #1: And then I broke my sacrum.
Sikh #2: What's a sacrum?
Sikh #1: My butt bone.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: E.S.
Sikh #1: And then I broke my sacrum.
Sikh #2: What's a sacrum?
Sikh #1: My butt bone.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: E.S.
Ghetto mother, about daughter: She hard on herself when it comes to her grades. That comes from her father. I told him, "you better stop that, or else you're gonna bust her brain."
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Raven
Truant girl on cell: I didn't! (pause) No, I didn't! (pause) I didn't skip! (pause) I didn't go! It's not the same thing! (pause) No, it isn't! (pause) I didn't go anyplace! I didn't go to somebody's house or nothing! (pause) It's not the same! I didn't skip! I just didn't go! (pause) No, it's not the same! It is not!
–8th Ave & 50th St
Overheard by: stephie
Proctor, seeing a student come into testing room: Hey, aren't you that kid who was smokin' yesterday? Oh, yeah, that's right, you're the one that flipped me the bird! Now I have yo' name and yo' ID numba, and I can call up yo' parents… Today is just my lucky day!
–Stuyvesant High School
Long Island guy: I can't wait to get back to college. The girls there are so hot. I can't wait to get my DNA on em, know what I'm sayin'?
–LIRR
Indian chick on cell: What's good? I'm not taking Hindi anymore, that's what's good! Hellll fuckin yeahhh! Whoooo!!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: me neither
Short girl: I just don't like the winter, it's so depressing.
Suit #1: I know. And I have scratches all over my body.
Suit #2: How did that happen?
Suit #1: I'm not sure, but…
Short girl: Maybe you have scabies!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: The WC
Bag lady to man eating veggie burger: Yo! You eat that shit, it gonna go through yo body an' come out yo asshole!
Man eating: Thank you, miss. I'll be careful.
Bag lady: Got a quarter?
–89th St & Amsterdam
First grade teacher, leaving park after field trip: Okay everybody. (counts kids) Oh my god! Where's Kate?
First grade girl with glasses: She's having a breakdown.
–Near Trinity Day School Campus
Drunk to Asian guy: Tell me, why is it that when Asians get in street fights, they never use their martial arts?
–1 Train
Overheard by: Fonvielle
Waiter: Please let me know if you have any food allergies. We ninjas don't like to kill by accident; we only kill on purpose.
–Ninja Japanese Restaurant
Little boy to grandfather: Hey grandpa, are you a black belt or any kind of ninja?
–Cobble Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Jess
Health care worker: I'ma kill that ninja!
–Brooklyn Health Center
Large black woman: Don't you want to sit down? You don't have a good balance.
Old Jewish man with walker: Not true! Last night, at around two am, a fairy came to me and said I had good balance!
Large black woman, shrugging: Alriiight!
–N Train
Overheard by: zach
Little girl: Daddy! I'm so excited to see the rats!
–Metro-North Rail
20-something guy to friends: He couldn't drink because he was on antibiotics. He got a rat disease from a lab rat that bit him.
–Lincoln Center
Guy to girlfriend: I step on dead rats all the time!
–Mercer St
Overheard by: Julie
20-something girl on cell: The mouse was fed to the snake the night before, so when I saw it the next morning, I freaked.
–R Train
Cop: We had a guy down here eating a rat. I said, "You're a gentleman in society." He put the rat in his mouth.
–South Ferry Subway
Little boy, throwing tantrum in the street: Dad, my feet hurt. I can't walk anymore!
Dad: Yeah, well, my testicles hurt. Come on!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Colleen
Guy on cell: It's not like I take my ear wax, put it on my penis, and use it as lube.
–Queens
Overheard by: Jess
Friends on stoop: Bro, did you see that ass? I would lick the fart out that ass!
–19th & 6th
Middle-aged yuppie, about club in Las Vegas: And I said "here's our check, and if another pubic hair falls in our drink, you're in trouble!"
–Times Square
Overheard by: Scott
Boy in car to mom: Hey mom, what about anal leakage?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Brenna
Guy to friend: She said she was stressed out studying for finals, I didn't realize that meant she hadn't been showering. As soon as I got there we started "hitting it". It was too late when I realized how dirty she was. Dude, I literally licked a layer of crust off her.
–3rd St b/w Ave A & B
Overheard by: saffrosun
