Man …you better get in, nobody over 30 is allowed to walk here anymore.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Sam Cohen
Old man: It’s like crap without a toilet! Goddamn rock and roll generation! Get the fuck out of here before I shoot every last one of you!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: nj
Hipster guy: I had so many magical adventures here last summer, it’s not even funny.
–Williamsburg
Girl: Yeah, and I mean a lot of rumors about me are true, but that one isn’t.
–Union pool, Williamsburg
Bag lady: Hey, can I bum a smoke?
Hipster guy: I bummed this one.
Bag lady: Ching-chong, ching-ching-ching-ching-chong!
She enters CVS and comes back.
Bag lady: Ching-chong, ching-chong.
Hipster guy: You’re a fat ugly bitch.
Bag lady: You’re a chink.
Hipster guy: Why don’t you say that to my face?
Bag lady: I will. My boyfriend will kick your ass!
Hipster guy: Why do you have to start with me right now?
Bag lady: Because you’re a chink. You’re Chinese, right?
Hipster guy: No.
Bag lady: Japanese?
Hipster guy: No.
Bag lady: Umm…Korean?
Hipster guy: No.
Bag lady: Asian?
–86th & 2nd
Overheard by: Nakul Patel
Hipster guy: Dude, he always blames it on the train dispatcher. He needs to own his problems, you know?
–F train
Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo
Hipster guy #1: Dude, your hair is getting really long.
Hipster guy #2: I know! It's nice. It's like having a hat…
Hipster guy #1: (silence)
Hipster guy #2: …made of hair.
–NYU
Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.
–Village ATM
Overheard by: rafa
Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.
–Wollman Rink, Central Park
Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?
–Hard Rock Cafe
Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely
Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!
–Union Square Subway Station
Overheard by: Rachel K
Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.
–Columbia University
Upstate girl: If you thought Geneseo was bad, you should see Angola; there’s really nothing out there.
Hipster boy: Angola? That sounds like a disease.
Upstate girl: Well, yeah — it’s an African country.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Greybanks
Hipster guy: Wax makes my hair too sticky, I like the mud better.
Hipster girl: I can’t believe we have sex.
–Mott & Spring
Girl: “Feeling sick? Sex can help–”
Professor lady: You haven’t had any lately, have you?
–Pace University
Guy #1: With fiction books, if someone tells you the ending, it’s like there’s no point to them. But with non-fiction, you can know exactly what’s going to happen and they’re still a joy to read.
Guy #2: Man, you really should try getting laid sometime. Stop bothering me.
–Clovis Press, Williamsburg
Overheard by: nalin
Random hipster: If David Bowie had wheels, how much would you pay to ride on him?
–St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: haxromana
Scrawny hipster dude to another: All I'm saying is: I want to be in a position where I'm not liking it, and I know he's not liking it either.
–Troutman & Evergreen
Overheard by: Kristen
Hipster: I was much more desperate in Chicago.
–6 Train
Hipster kid: I'm just afraid that my sweatshirt isn't edgy enough.
–SoundFix Records, Brooklyn
Overheard by: chelce
Teenager: He's having a hard time dealing with being a hipster.
–Columbus Circle
Woman: One time this guy punched me…but it was alright, cause I was on coke.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Laura Grossman
Female hipster on cell: I'm coked up and all alone, Harvey, how do you expect me to feel?
–Humboldt & Ainslie, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Joseph Hernandez
Girl on cell: I haven't done coke in like a week. It's been a rough week.
–Upper East Side
Hot 20-something tourist girl to friend: Pfft, the Meatpacking District. That's false advertising…I got no meat packed in me last night. All I did was steal that bag of cocaine from those guys.
–Broadway & Wooster
Overheard by: ClassyGal
Female 20-something on phone: Yeah, he realized it was too late when he couldn't tell the difference between the piles of sugar, the piles of flour, and the piles of cocaine.
–Central Park
Hipster guy #1: Dude, it's so cold…did you just pee your pants?
Hipster guy #2: I did. I peed my pants, everybody! I peed them!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: youknowme
