Hipster dude: We're made for each other, you want to save Israel and the planet, and me too.
Hipster gal: I don't want to save the planet–I want to take it over!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Juantanamo Bay
Hipster dude: We're made for each other, you want to save Israel and the planet, and me too.
Hipster gal: I don't want to save the planet–I want to take it over!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Juantanamo Bay
Dressed up overweight 20-something girl to another: We're in our 20s. We're like supposed to be slutty, right?
–Norman & Diamond
Overheard by: Guess I missed the memo 20-something girl
College girl to another: You gotta hit it and quit it, like a dude!
–W Broadway & 108th St
Overheard by: Tess
Janky fat woman: He never told me not to tramp!
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
Loud thug with neck tattoos on cell: You know Stud is my son, dude. Stud just wanna hump on women all day.
–Deli, Myrtle Ave, Fort Greene
Overheard by: Myrtle & Carlton
Hipster chick to another: I was wasted! Then I saw him in daylight and said "Holy shit!"
–Havemeyer, Grand Street, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Miss Heather
Lawyerly woman to another: I told him that just because I want to fuck does not mean that we have to love each other.
–Foley Square
Overheard by: Julio
Random guy to cute girl: Good luck, honey. What you wake up with, you're stuck with.
–Jimmy Steiny's, Hyatt Street, Staten Island
Young man to friend: So, about your girlfriend…I think she and I should fuck.
–Union Square West & 16th St
Street hawker selling datebooks: Wanna cheat on your husband? Plan it out! Get a daily planner, write it in red!
–Herald Square
Overheard by: MPW
Hipster teen girl to friend: Dude, don't worry about it. Whenever I want guys to cheat on their girlfriends with me I always just take off my pants and start singing Afroman.
–Mulberry St
Chick to friends: Seriously, it's a full-on dating service for married people. (pause) Like, adulterers.
–Broadway & Avenue of the Americas
Overheard by: Chuckles
Guy to another: Have you been cheating a lot? Does she know you're gay?
–6 Train
Hobo: So would all unhappily married women please step forward? I know there are some unhappily married women out there, and I'm willing to satisfy your needs. (pause) I know you're out there!
–Times Square
Overheard by: John
Hipster chick #1: I always loved that one reporter girl. What was her name?
Hipster chick #2: April, April O'Neil.
Hipster chick #1: Oh my god! Thank you!
–F Train
Overheard by: Master Splinter
Hipster #1: I mean, if I were an asshole, I just would have slept with all three of them.
Hipster #2: Yeah, but you're not. You're a nice guy.
–Bedford Ave & Grand
Overheard by: yeah, the nicest.
Yuppie guy: God, I can't even finish this. I feel completely bloated, like some chick. Disgusting.
Hipster guy: You feel like a chick?
Yuppie guy: Yeah…you know, like all girls get once a month: Bitchy, bloated, and popping those pills.
Hipster guy: You mean, like, the abortion pill?
–Pizza Shop, E 34th & 1st St
Excited man on cell: Hey! Did you hear who died? Amanda's pretend husband died!
–N Train
Overheard by: Tophs
20-something woman to friend: Well, I wanna kill her and she wants to kill me, 'cause I took her husband.
–R Train
Overheard by: Tara
20-something hipster girl: I am a nihilist! Watch me die.
–Waverly & Mercer
Asian guy to white girl: All children are born evil. If they had the strength of an adult during childhood, they would kill someone just to get a lollipop.
–Queens College
Woman on cell: Okay! I get it. She's not a good person. Just kill her.
–Canal St & Laffaette St
Overheard by: Kay
Conductor: You're all gonna die! I'm your worst nightmare! Ahahahaha!
–C Train
Overheard by: P-Diddy
Suit on cell: I've already had a blow job tonight so I don't really care what happens.
–7th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Karmenlara Seidman
Lady suit to other: What about 1994? I haven't sucked cock or watched ice hockey since 1994!
–Lion's Head, 109th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: A great man
Toothless thug: And now she wants an award for sucking my dick.
–7th Ave & 16th St
Overheard by: mattamore
Guy on cell: Look, I'm about to get on the train and lose signal so I'll sum up my argument: until I can pull out my dick and get a blowjob from any woman I want, my grudge against feminists stands. No, I don't care if it doesn't make sense. Fuck you, I'm getting on the train!
–Penn Station
Old woman to husband: Now isn't she the girl who gave him head in the Port Authority bathroom?
–Bench, Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Horrified
Girl to two hipster friends with yoga mats: Oh my god, he had to stop me while I was sucking on his dick just to tell me he likes me. Like why? Ew, why would he bother?
–Avenue B & 13th
Thuggette to two friends: So we, like, had a threesome, just without the sex.
–Kingsborough Community College
Hipster boy holding Christmas wreath: Well, no, I wasn't part of the threesome.
–Pearl St & John St
Overheard by: Matthew
Blonde 30-something: I love threesomes. That's when you go shopping with two friends, right? Right?
–77th & Lexington
Overheard by: iwantinonthat
Suit on cell: Were you invited to the gangbang? I wasn't invited! She always invites me to the gangbang! Fucking whore!
–86th & Park Ave
Overheard by: i wasn't invited either!
Conductor: Man, I am telling you, those two girls were just not ready, ready for me.
–A Train
Hobo: I would like money to buy beer so I can get drunk, and take home two women so they can molest me.
–M&M Store
Hipster guy: I need some toothpaste and…what else did I say I needed?
Hipster girl, shouting: Condoms!
Hipster guy: Shhhhh!
(everyone in store starts chuckling)
Hipster girl: The extra small ones.
Hipster guy: Shhhh!
Hipster girl: With a juicy flavor!
–Rite Aid, 6th Ave & 11th St
