Hobo: …damn, this is some fucked up shit. Most fucked up shit I’ve ever seen. Motherfucker arguin’ with himself. Who argues with himself? Man, this is some fucked up shit…
–West Village
Overheard by: Matt Muscari
Hobo: …damn, this is some fucked up shit. Most fucked up shit I’ve ever seen. Motherfucker arguin’ with himself. Who argues with himself? Man, this is some fucked up shit…
–West Village
Overheard by: Matt Muscari
Bum, to smoking cater waiter: Can I get a smoke?
Cater waiter: (nods saying “no”)
Bum, pulling a cigarette out of his ear: Then, can I get light?
Cater waiter: (lights it)
Bum: Can I get five bucks?
–14th & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Where's your sense of rhythm?
A hobo tells a woman: If you’re ever in trouble, come to this place, yell out my name, and I’ll protect you with my guns.
He holds up both his vodka bottles.
–World Trade Center E station
Overheard by: Ting
A hobo takes his shoes off. The woman sitting next to him gets up with a disgusted look on her face and moves to another seat. The hobo massages his bare feet and shouts to her: Yeah, well your sister is the opposite of um, uh, hot!
–E train
Overheard by: Jeni Aron
Hobo: Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, steak!
Asian man: Yes.
–57th & Broadway
Little gangster kid: Yo, the last time I went fishing I got a fishing lure stuck in my dick.
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Hobo: Everybody’s somebody on my dick!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Girl, to male co-worker: Can you be a little more subtle and not such a dick-swinger about your Amstel Light?
–Conde Nast Bldg, 57th & 8th
Overheard by: Kenzi
Woman: At least I don’t suck dicks for free!
–Broadway and Putnam, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Tommi
Drunk college student: My redeeming factor is I will suck fucking dick to make money.
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: dank
Guy on cell: Take it like a bowl of dicks.
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: Johnny Bonsanto
Fat guy: So I asked her, and she gave me her number, and then it was disconnected. So I went back the next week, and she wasn’t working there anymore. So I wondered, did she quit her job just to avoid sucking my dick?
–Bleecker & Sullivan
Overheard by: Caroline
Anorexic JAP on cell: …No money, so I stopped dating him.
Hobo: Whore.
Anorexic JAP, to hobo: Excuse me?
Hobo: Nice thighs — have another doughnut.
–East Village
Woman from first-floor window of brownstone: Hi… Can I help you?
Hobo going through her trash: Uh… Is this house for sale?
–12th & 2nd
Overheard by: lolo
Hobo to young woman holding coffee cup: How can you be happy? There's no vodka in that cup!
Young woman: How do you know?
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
Hobo: Do you have a dollar?
Suit: Yes.
Hobo: May I have it?
Suit: Shouldn’t you do a trick first?
Hobo: Fucker, I don’t even own pants! You want me to dance for that shit?
–49th Street station
Overheard by: dank
Talkative hobo, seeing woman holding papers about Africa: What's up in Africa? You don't look African.
Dignified woman: I used to work in Angola.
Talkative hobo: That's the best kind of job to have, where they pay to send you all over the world. Damn, I bet it costs $2000 to fly to Angola if you were paying for it out of your own pocket.
Dignified woman: Actually, it costs more than that. It's about $4000 to fly to Angola and back from here.
Talkative hobo: Holy shit! $4000 to fly to Angola and back? Do you know how much weed I could buy for $4000? I could sit my ass in the park all day and smoke myself to death! Damn!
–1 Train
