Yuppie: You know, that’s a very expensive beer you’re not drinking.
Girlfriend: Can’t we have one night where you don’t quote American Psycho?
Yuppie: Oh, he bought her Chardonnay. Don’t worry, I’m not a Chardonnay guy.
Girlfriend: Whatever. Just don’t nail-gun me in my sleep tonight. Again.
–Iggy’s on Rivington
Man: Don’t you want to go to the water?
Woman, wiping something off her arm with a napkin: No. I’ve had enough poop for today.
–Central Park South, between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Victor
Lady: You know that guy you stayed with last summer?
Daughter: Who?
Lady: He called last night. That rug salesman from Turkey.
Daughter: I never stayed with a Turkish rug salesman, Mom.
Lady: He’s coming over at 10 tonight.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: I don’t do his sales.
Hobo: I want to cum on your face.
Young woman: Uhhh… Well, at least he’s being up-front — putting all the cards on the table. I guess I respect that.
–27th & 10th
Overheard by: Julia C
Old, disgruntled customer: I wish I was young again.
Cashier: Do you believe in reincarnation? You could just kill yourself.
–Deli, Lex Ave, between 38th & 39th
Overheard by: Becki
Thug #1: I don’t know what happened — I bought her a shot!
Thug #2: Yo, you can’t be buyin’ shots for fat chicks — they be drinkin’ ’em anyway.
–W 4th, outside Down the Hatch
Overheard by: NCS
Man: Dude, your marketing department — they’re like a bunch of baby birds!
Woman: I know! And I’m sick of throwing up in their mouths.
–57th & 5th
Creepy man, about tourist’s rack: Are those real?
Tourist girl to friend: Whoa, I guess we should have left our nice purses at home…
–Broadway
School girl #1: I wish I had the chance to watch more old movies.
School girl #2: Yeah, I totally know what you mean. I haven’t seen any of the classics… You know, like Breakfast at Tiffany’s or Dirty Dancing.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: trannysmithapple
Bimbette #1: Oh my god, shamans are, like, so in right now!
Bimbette #2: Really?!
Bimbette #1: Yeah! Like, every day I wake up and it’s like, shaman-this and shaman-that.
–50th & 6th
