Little boy: Daddy, am I a mama's boy?
Perplexed father: No, I don't think so, why do you ask?
–7th Ave
Overheard by: Mel
Girl: I haven't told my new roommate that our upstairs neighbor sounds like the Count when she's having sex.
–L Train
Man to two female companions: Don't you hate it when you go into your bathroom and find your roommate's pubes on the sink?
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Sarah
Jersey mom: We're so lucky she got a good roommate, one that doesn't stay up late or listen to rock music.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Liz
Guy to friend: If you are 35 and living in New York with 3 roommates, you should just shoot yourself, right?
–Outside Whole Foods, Union Square
Confused NYU male: The only people I would consider hooking up with are like, my roommate and like, Carl, my cousin.
–University Place & E 9th
Woman #1: Hey Maria, how's your mother doing?
Woman #2: He's all right. He's recovering from his operation.
Woman #1: She had to have an operation? I thought she just sprained her ankle!
Woman #2: Oh, that? That was nothing. I'm talking about the operation he had last week.
Woman #1: He?
Woman #2: Yes.
–Coney Island
Overheard by: Sunny
NYU boy #1: Jeff Goldblum enslaved my parents.
NYU boy #2: Jeff Goldblum lay siege to my castle.
NYU girl #2: Jeff Goldblum killed my velociraptor.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Harridan: Put out that cigarette! Put it out! You can't smoke on the subway! Put it out!
Hobo: (puffs)
Bro: Sir, would you please put out the cigarette?
Hobo: Sure.
Bro: Thank you.
Harridan: You wouldn't put it out for me! Why did you put it out for him? Do you hate women? Was it your mother?
Hobo: He said “please” and “thank you.”
–2 Train
Large group of people dressed like Santa: What do we want? Christmas! When do we want it? Now!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: TR
Gay guy on cell: You don't want to see white Christmas. Honey, you don't understand… That was the whitest Christmas I have ever seen.
–Broadway & 43rd
20-something woman to 20-something guy, in April: It wouldn't be Christmas without you.
–Stromboli's Pizza
Mom to child yelling at her: Who do you think you're talking to? That's it, Christmas is over for you!
–135th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Yowza
Normal-looking woman to no one in particular: Look at Santa. The same letters as "Satan." Do you think Christmas has anything to do with Jesus? Where in the Bible does it say Jesus was born on December 24th? I tell you, Santa is Satan.
–Xmas Tree Stand, High School
Staples employee, in response to radio: Man! I want to move to Vietnam, or Pakistan, or wherever the fuck they don't care about Christmas.
–Staples, Union Square
Overheard by: Damon H.
Man to friend during interval: Have you heard about the Scientology Christmas pageant?
–Carnegie Hall
Little boy: Dad can I have ice cream?
Dad: No, you had french fries and cookies for lunch.
–95th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike Fazio
College girl in line: How did you answer the question asking about “nature versus nurture”?
College guy: That's easy. I just said “that's when parents let their kids run around in nature.”
College girl: Oh… right.
–Starbucks
Mother, during tour: I noticed a lot of students have piercings. Can you recommend a good place around here?
–NYU
Grad student on cell: Hey, it's me. Tomorrow, dress appropriately. It's supposed to be 65, so I'll bring a frisbee. Afterward, I want to go to your place because there's certain things I want to do, and your place is much more (pause) conducive for certain activities.
–NYU
Overheard by: DrNels
Girl to another: I used to drink sangria before my classes at NYU.
–Rockefeller Center
NYU student to friend: Man, you gotta remember, you gotta know–you have to stuff that bitch. You gotta know.
–Weinstein Hall, University Place
NYU law student: You know what I love about this building? It smells like a new BMW.
–NYU Law Building
