International Wednesday One-Liners Of Mystery

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

Posted on September 28, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Bars & Clubs, Bryant Park, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Dating, Family Ties, Fashion, Food, Foreigners, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, History & Geography, Kids, Language Barrier, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Names, One-liners, Parks, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

When You Don’t Care Anymore, Grasshopper, You Are a New Yorker

Budding New Yorker, watching two beefcakes rollerblade by in tiny black shorts and t-shirts: …See, like that. I don’t know if that’s straight or gay.

–Hudson River Park, 15th St

Overheard by: Sunday Morning Jogger

Posted on September 11, 2014
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, One-liners, Parks, Sexuality

Wednesday One-Liners Bust Out One-Armed Pushups for Fun

Chick on cell: Yeah, I'm like a hardcore rollerblader now. I just haven't learned how to stop yet.

–44th & 3rd

Steroid Freak: So I was hanging from his torso and then we tried to insert the triangle…

–25th & Lexington

Young man to friend: He likes me, he likes my style… he wants me to contort my limbs on a float.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Eyeteeth

Bored teenage girl (from 2nd story window): Hello, Mr Runner man! You've got a long way to go! I see you across the street there, wearing all black. These are words of encouragement! I support your acts of fitness!

–Vanderbilt & Bergen

Overheard by: Jilly

Female power-walker with cigarette: I used to be able to make a mile in under 7, but that was, you know, way back in college, before the job and the (runs out of breath) …way back.

–Prospect Park Loop

Overheard by: EmLo

Posted on September 4, 2014
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Clothing, Fitness, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Jocks, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Parks, Smokers & Smoking, Smoking, Sports, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Just the Slow and Stupid Ones, Kiddo

Dad on bike: Look at the ducks!
Excited little boy: Can we run them over?

–Central Park

Posted on September 4, 2014
Animals & Nature, Central Park, Dads, Kids, Parents, Parks, Questions, Should've Used a Condom

How Little Is Little?

Guy #1: What if it’s a crime or something?
Guy #2: So what? It’s not like you’re a rapist or anything. It’s not like you had sex with a little girl, right?

–Prospect Park

Posted on September 1, 2014
Brooklyn, Creepsters, Park Slope, Parks, Robbing the Cradle, Sex

Wednesday One-Liners. (And by That We Mean Exactly What You Think We Mean.)

Hipster to friend having problems with ATM card: Maybe it's for normal people and you're just abnormally large.

–Village ATM

Overheard by: rafa

Overenthusiastic father of new skater: Oh, you know, it's her first time, so I wanted to make sure that I was there to help her through it so that it'd be extra-special for her.

–Wollman Rink, Central Park

Overweight woman: Where's Wang? Guys, where's Wang?

–Hard Rock Cafe

Tourist mom: It's not big enough to impress me.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Not The Empire State, Surely

Loud woman: It was a three-legged pussy!

–Union Square Subway Station

Overheard by: Rachel K

Modern literature professor, after ending class early: Well, that's it, I've blown my load.

–Columbia University

Posted on August 30, 2014
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Central Park, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Cum, Dads, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Grand Central, Height, Hipsters, Moms, Money & Class, One-liners, Parents, Parks, Penis, Questions, Sexuality, Skaters, Street, Students, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teachers/Professors, The Village, Tourism, Tourists, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

By September, He’ll Be Ready to Get Back Up on the Horse

Dude #1: This hot weather has been rough on my skin, man.
Dude #2: Hey, uh. Hey, man. I know what you can do for that. You can mix lemon juice with some vinegar and make yourself an astringent.
Dude #1: Oh, word? Have you tried this yourself?
Dude #2: Yeah, man. The lemon juice and the vinegar, they combine to cleanse your pores. I’m telling you, man.
Dude #1: How do you know all this? You just sit here on this park bench every day.
Dude #2: Naw, man, just during the summer. I work in the schools.
Dude #1: You an educator?
Dude #2: A what?
Dude #1: An ED-U-CA-TOR! A teacher.
Dude #2: Yeah. Yeah, that’s right. I’m an educator.
Dude #1: Whatchu been drinking, man?
Dude #2: Vodka.
Dude #1: Yeah, I can smell it.

–Christopher Park, 74th St

Overheard by: Carol – Pretending to read my book