Environmentalist with clipboard: Excuse me, do you have a minute to help save the environment?
Woman in suit: I’m sorry, I already saved the children this morning and then told the Democratic Party to go fuck themselves three blocks ago, so no, I don’t have time to save the environment today. Maybe tomorrow, hippie.
–Broadway & Bond
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Black guy: You just made fun of someone with Down's Syndrome!
Hispanic girl: She kicked me!
Black guy (exasperated): Because she has Down's Syndrome!
–Union St & 4th Ave
Overheard by: Chihuahua
Four-year-old Asian boy: Is this train going to Jamaica Center? The same as e train?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: So they need to watch out for guns?
–F Train
Asian to another: And it's like, how many ABCs are there at NYU these day?
Girl to friend, once off train: What's an ABC?
Friend: Asian by Choice?
–F Train
Nine-year-old girl: Mom, that kitten is so cute! Can we get a kitten?
Mother: Honey, I know it's cute, but we have to take care of the two cats we already have.
Nine-year-old girl: No, I know. I mean when they die.
–Veterinarian Waiting Room, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Ben A
Mom (to young girl banging on subway seat): Stop that, quiet.
Young girl: What'cha gonna do, open up a can of whoop-ass on me?
Mom: Girl, what did you say? Where did you learn that?
Young girl: You always say it to daddy.
–2 Train
Guy to girlfriend: Will you just hold my fucking hand?
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: waiting for my prince charming
Guy: You know, I used to think cheating on girls was wrong.
–Whitestone, Queens
Overheard by: Michelle
Young woman, looking at Lolita book jacket: Wow. This kind of reminds me of my relationship.
–Borders, 33rd & 7th
Overheard by: with a K
Man on cell: No, dear, I do not want to hear what you’re doing to yourself right now.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Alexandra
Woman, to man she’s just kissed: What was your name again?
–2nd St & 1st Ave
Man on cell: My wife is driving me crazy! She keeps following my girlfriend around! Wait, hold on, I have to take this call. Hello…Yeah I just stepped out of the office for a few minutes… Thanks, honey, you’re the best.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Sara Swank
Girl on cell: He liked me too much, so I fuckin’ dumped him.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: buffalo
Van driver to taxi driver who just cut him off: Are you a Muslim, sir?
Taxi driver: Yes sir, I am a Muslim.
Van driver: Allah will kill you!
Taxi driver: No, he will kill you!
–Financial District
Overheard by: Erica
Kid #1, after playing hide-and-seek: So where were you?
Kid #2: I hid in the bush.
Kid #3, yelling and throwing hands in the air in disgust: No! You weren't hiding in the bush, you were hiding in the shrubs. Doesn't anybody know the difference between bushes and shrubs?!
–Central Park
