Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Young black girl: What are all them white people doing all the way up here?
Young black girl's mother: White folk like to drink out of little cups and sit outside with them bug-eyed sunglasses on Sundays.
–Café, Lenox & 119th
Drunk guy #1: Yo, how funny was that when I told him, ‘Dude, just stick your balls in her mouth’? Remember that?
Drunk guy #2: Ewww, man, his balls are disgusting!
–LIRR
Overheard by: mrbojangles
Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.
–23th & 7th
Overheard by: mel
Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die.
–87th St & York Ave
Overheard by: Critter
Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!
–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport
Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then?
–Art Store, Williamsburg
Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart.
–9th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: JKW
Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?
–Park Ave
Four-year-old boy, pointing at giant inflatable rat: Look dad, a big rat!
Dad: Yeah, that symbolizes anti-union labor where the union employees aren’t being hired and companies are hiring non-union employees to work with them.
Four-year-old boy: What?
–28th & Broadway
White guy, feeling shirt material: This is nice. What kind of fabric is this shirt?
Black guy: It’s, uh… grey.
White guy: Grey? That shit’s not a material!
–Century 21
Tourist kid to random guy: Do you know where St. Mark's is?
Random guy: You see that spinny cube?
Tourist kid: Yeah.
Random guy: And do you see that clump of punk rock Midwesterners?
Tourist kid: No.
Random guy: Well, you're gonna.
–Astor Place
Father to young son: We’ll get an apartment in Kentucky. Then you’ll only have to go to school through 6th grade."
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Dashing Dan
Jewy girl on cell: He’s an apartment broker?… Last time you said he dealt with hedge funds… Yea, I don’t think they are the same thing.
–21st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Lezbotron
Guy: Well, my week has been interesting. Last month Meredith tried to sublet my apartment right out from under me. So, this week I went through her stuff and mailed her boyfriend –wait no, fiancé– a receipt from when she got an abortion last summer.
–10th & 1st
Overheard by: ED
Reasonable cop: Even though it’s a stinkin friggin apartment, he’s got a place to put his ugly fuckin head.
–Dunkin Donuts, Woodside, Queens
Twink #1 to twink #2: I believe in my heart of hearts that I should live in an apartment like the ones in Woody Allen movies.
–50th St & 9th Ave
Conductor on very crowded F train: Those of you with very small apartments will appreciate them now.
–F Train
Overheard by: da sarkastik ninja.
Little boy, watching teen girl smoking: Why are people always smoking cigarettes?
Dad: Because they are addictive. That is why daddy quit. Do you want to tell the nice girl what will happen to her if she doesn't quit?
Little boy: Well, first you'll get really sick. And then you'll die. (pause) And then you'll be dead!
–15th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Nora Claire
Woman, followed by pack of children: Okay, first one to catch up to me gets a dollar!
Little boy: Fifty dollars of joy!
–Times Square Station
Really loud guy: That guy is so her bitch!
Friend: How do you know?
Really loud guy: He's wearing plaid.
–Central Park
