Even Hens Aren’t That Chicken

Teen girl: Do you like stroking my ears?
Teen guy: Do you like it when I stroke your ears?
Teen girl: That was one of the first things I noticed about you…that you were stroking my ears.
Teen guy: Yeah.
Teen girl: Have you done it to other girls before?
Teen guy: Wha?
Teen girl: I guess my boobs are really small, and you need something to grab on to.
Teen guy: …Do you ever cook meat?
Teen girl: This one time the mother of the kids I nanny made me make them chicken nuggets. But she left raw chicken out on the corner, and I had to make them in the bag with the Shake N’ bag, and I literally called my mother, like, sobbing, while I was shaking.
Teen guy: Whoa. That’s sucks that she made you, like, compromise your, like…Yeah…Yo…

–A train

Overheard by: subversively chic

Posted on June 9, 2015
Body Parts, Food, On the Subway, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Teens

Guess Who Went to Preschool Boot Camp

Girl: Can we call a truce? Can we just say we won't bring this up again?
Guy: Well, you're the one who brought it up before.
Girl: That is bringing it up again!

–Chelsea Flea Market

Overheard by: Mike

Posted on June 9, 2015
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Relationships, Store

She Meant the Melanin

White girlfriend: You’ve got something on your face.
Black boyfriend: It’s probably your hatred.

–Barnes & Noble, 8th Street

Overheard by: m-Co

Posted on June 7, 2015
Black People, Relationships, White People

If Shroomers Wrote Soap Operas

Standing dude: Yo, why are you staring at me?
Seated girl: Oh. Never mind. From the side, you looked like this dude I went to boarding school with. But you're not. I think he's on mushrooms.
Standing dude: I was on shrooms yesterday…
Seated girl: Scott?
Standing dude: Julia?
Seated girl: Shit!

–L Train

Posted on June 6, 2015
Drugs, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Passengers, Questions, Relationships, School and studying

Just Hold It Like It’s a Dead Raccoon

Joking clerk to bitter man holding wife’s purse: Nice purse.
Man: Thanks. It came free with the relationship and subsequent castration.

–Fashion Ave

Overheard by: I think it was Dior

Posted on June 3, 2015
Comebacks, Fashion, Men, Relationships, Store, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence

Once You Commit to a Woman, Her Warranty Expires

Goofy guy, trying and failing to pick up a stranger: The thing is, I had a big fight with my girlfriend this morning.
Woman (about to get off bus): Oh, sorry. That's never easy…my advice to you is, reconcile.
Goofy guy: Yeah, well, but she's a little bipolar.

–Westbound 57 Bus

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted on June 3, 2015
Advice, Fighting and ass kicking, Guys, On the Bus, Pick-up Lines, Psychology, Relationships, Women

She Just Made Him Blissful

Guy: Hey, hey shortie with the red hair…Hey, I’m talkin’ to you!
Girl: Yeah, and I’m ignoring you.

–29th & 7th

Posted on May 30, 2015
Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pick-up Lines, Relationships, Sex & Relationships

“Roly Poly” Isn’t a Very Funny Pet Name

Guy #1: Dude, you’re fat as shit and getting balder by the minute, you really need to lock her in.
Guy #2: I don’t know man, she is super cool. She’s just so sensitive about everything.
Guy #1: Like what?
Guy #2: I make jokes that she doesn’t understand and gets mad really easily and takes everything so personal.
Guy #1: What do you mean?
Guy #2: Well…I guess she just doesn’t like it when I make fun of her.

–4 train

Posted on May 25, 2015
Friends, Gender issues, Marriage, On the Subway, Relationships

Left Him Crying in a Puddle Of His Own Urine

Hipster chick: He thought that by “phone sex” I meant “phone hanging out chat time”.
Friend: Bo-ring.
Hipster chick: I basically phone raped him.

–L Train

Posted on May 23, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Hipsters, On the Subway, Relationships, Words

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Social Construct

Angry construction worker to befuddled construction worker: Don't look at me like that! Don't say that to me! Go home and fuck my wife, asshole!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jumana

Construction working to another: Man, I need to get me a bi girlfriend. She'd be lovin' me, and I'd be lovin' her friends.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Rich R.

Construction worker, singing: If there's a skeeter on your Peter/whack it off! (claps twice)

–Waverly Place & 5th Ave

Overheard by: steph

Tough construction worker, unloading van: Yo, I was up til like 2 am watchin' Scooby Doo Where Are You!

–Humboldt & Withers

Overheard by: francesca

Construction worker, staring up at construction skyscraper: It's all twisted. It's going to come down.

–Williams St

Overheard by: Sonya

Posted on May 23, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Brooklyn, Construction Guys, Coworkers, Gays and Lesbians, Infidelity, Insults, Masturbation, One-liners, Penis, Penn Station, Promiscuity, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Sex, Sexuality, Singing, Street, The Village, TV, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners

Relationships