Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store)
–Kings Plaza
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Little girl to mother in liquor store: Mommy, why are you buying that?
Mother: I don't ask you why you buy toys.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Noemi
Latina #1: I’ve never been there.
Latina #2: Wait, you’ve never been to Loehmann’s?! And you call yourself a Puerto Rican bargain shopper!
–13th & 3rd
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Chick: It’s the biggest Wal-Mart in Arkansas. That’s their claim to fame.
–Tennessee Mountain, SoHo
Suit #1: I don’t know if I have enough on this one card.
Suit #2: Do you have another one?
Suit #1: Yeah, but do you think they’ll let me use more than one?
Suit #2: Look, there’s a brotha on the register. He’ll understand.
–Target, 225th Street
Overheard by: Laura Tompkins
Young man: I think I hurt my throat when impersonating Mark having an orgasm.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Harmony Davis
Older queer to boyfriend: Uh! Uh! I'm gonna cum! I'm gonna cum! I have to have this record! It's so good! It makes me orgasm!
–W 72nd S, Record Store
Overheard by: Never achieved an orgasm that way…
Punk kid to two friends: I want to pierce my shaft and put different things in it so I can give girls better orgasms.
–West Village
Overheard by: Andy & Nick
Man on pay phone: I want to come all over your cock.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: sofia
Drunk chick, loudly as the bar goes silent: I could make you come with one finger!
–Bar, Fulton St
Overheard by: Izzy
Chick: Wait, you don’t take credit cards?
Street vendor: Yeah, I got a machine right here in my arm.
–Whitehall & Bridge
Metalhead, playing guitar and singing: Buy some fuckin' poptarts /buy some fuckin' weed/ buy some fuckin' cigarettes/buy everything you need!
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: j
Singing hobo pushing cart: I am wiiiise. I am wise!
–Union Square Station
Overly flamboyant gay guy, singing: I kissed a girl and I liked iiiit. (swishes hips while walking)
–11th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Mal Sullivan
Singing gay guy to another, clapping hands in rhythm: You look like a cunt, you act like a cunt, you smell like a cunt, you feel like a cunt…
–2 Train
Overheard by: drew
Hobo, getting into train and taking out electric guitar and amp: Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention please! This song is for the white lady with the orange pocketbook. She reminds me of Martha Stewart…when she got out of jail. (starts singing) 3 train white lady is my girl, my girl, my girl!
–Downtown 3 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Little girl in stroller, singing happily: Doe, a deer, a hee-hale deer. Ray, a drop of golden pee-pee…
–E Train
