Ghetto chick holding up lipstick: Teesha, smell this! Do this smell right to you?
Teesha: I don’t know. What it s’posed to smell like?
Ghetto chick: It smell funny — like it been in the store too long. I’ma take this shit back to Rite Aid [she puts the lipstick on].
–PATH
Overheard by: Manhattman
Pretty girl on phone, screaming: I am not upset. I'm not upset–I'm enraged! I'm enraged! Enraged!
Young suit: I think maybe, uh… I'm not sure but…
Old suit: I think maybe she's a little enraged.
–28th St & Madison Ave
Southern tourist: Is this Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, this is Roosevelt Avenue, in Queens.
Southern tourist: What? So it is Roosevelt Island?
NY woman: No, I said it is not Roosevelt Island. This is the Roosevelt Avenue stop. You are in Queens.
Southern tourist: I don’t understand, am I on Roosevelt Island?
Suit: Ma’am, you are in Queens right now, specifically, Roosevelt Avenue. Roosevelt Avenue is not the same as Roosevelt Island. If you want to be at Roosevelt Island, you have to take the train going in the other direction about three stops. Either way, get off the damn train and quit delaying the rest of us.
Southern tourist: Why won’t anybody answer my question?
NY woman: You know what? This is Roosevelt Island, we’re all wrong. Get off.
Southern tourist: Was that so hard?
–Roosevelt Avenue stop, F train
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Waif #1: Do you have any of that low-carb gum?
Waif #2: That stuff is super fierce.
Waif #1: I know.
–1 train
40-something man to small toddler: I love you very much, sir.
Toddler: (inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you very rich, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: When I die you will be very wealthy, sir.
Toddler: (more inaudible gibberish)
40-something man: I will make you so much motherfucking money, sir. You will be so motherfucking rich, sir.
–12th St & Ave B
Overheard by: John
Drunk NYU dude: You guys know that loose skin around your shaft or whatever? Push it over the tip of your dick. It feels like you have three balls. Three balls! Fucking sweet!
–NYU
Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual
Dude: I swear to god dude, I can feel my balls moving from side to side today!
–5th Ave
Hipster girl: Balls have no place in my mouth. Gum, chicken, or any other kind.
–F Train
Overheard by: Teabag
Loud fat black chick : I wanna kiss the balls of the person who made these cookies.
–Broadway
Overheard by: sounds yummy
Meathead on cell: I got some good shit for you for the gym. Shoot this shit in your ass three times a week and you'll look like The Incredible Hulk in no time… I can't believe you're doing all this stuff to impress your wife. We'll see how impressed she is when you don't have any balls anymore because you're on steroids. Who knows, maybe she'll start fucking me instead.
–48th & 8th
Overheard by: vicky
Guy on phone: I know classical music well enough to know that Vivaldi had no balls.
–42nd St & 10th Ave
Rich high-school girl #1: We should totally do this more often, like go to Philadelphia for the day.
Rich high-school girl #2: Totally! Where is Philadelphia, anyway? Is it next to Pennsylvania?
Rich high-school girl #1: Yeah, I think so…
Rich high-school girl #2: So then, where's Alabama?
–Megabus
Overheard by: appalled
Brown guy: That nigga act like he never seen a Sherpa before! Ignorant.
White guy: Well, he probably hasn’t. You aren’t that common, you know.
–Greene & Grand
Overheard by: lil pirate
Boss calling out from office: Eric*, what’s your city of birth?
Employee #1: Oh, I don’t know. I put down a variety of places.
Employee #2: You don’t know your city of birth?
Employee #1: Well, it’s either the town or the city it’s near… The place… It’s like an umbrella.
Employee #2: Oh.
–Hedge fund office, 57th & 5th
Overheard by: the silent temp
Chick: What does that mean, that the movie has subtitles? Isn’t it in English?
Cashier: Yes, it’s in English, but it has subtitles for the disabled.
Chick: So it’s for the illiterate or something?
–Regal Cinemas, Union Square
