Stupidity

Hobo, to two girls: Hey, Mary Kate, got something to eat?
Girl #1, to girl #2: Ohmigod, did you hear that? Is she the pretty one?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Commuter

Woman: How many slices are in a medium?
Pizza guy: 8.
Woman: How many slices are in a large?
Pizza guy: 8.
Woman: Can I speak to someone else?

–Pizzeria, 14th & 1st

Yuppie: “And I thought, why are you climbing down a hole if you’re wearing a $2,500 shirt?”

— Upper East Side

Girl #1: I don’t know, I think there was a language barrier.
Girl #2: Where is he from?
Girl #1: Well, Israel.
Girl #2: What the fuck do they speak there? Arabic?

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Janis Glendon

Meathead: I think that’s just so ridiculous that they would expect you to teach these kids when you don’t know the kids at all.
Ditzy girl: Well they had name tags.

–2 train

English teacher: So tell me: why might Martin Luther King have written “I have a dream”? What was he trying to accomplish?
Ditzy blonde freshman, raising hand: Well, I mean, he was trying to free all the slaves. Duh!

–Wagner College

Overheard by: Rupert

Guy: Is that the Smithsonian?
Girl: No, that's in Washington, DC.

–42nd & 5th

Van driver to taxi driver who just cut him off: Are you a Muslim, sir?
Taxi driver: Yes sir, I am a Muslim.
Van driver: Allah will kill you!
Taxi driver: No, he will kill you!

–Financial District

Overheard by: Erica

Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.

–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St

Overheard by: HookahFanatic

Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.

–Bryant Park

Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu

Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.

–Outside the Federal Reserve

20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.

–Broadway & 39th St

Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.

–116th St & 8th

Overheard by: Matt & Stacy

Professor: Do you guys watch American Idol? It's painful.

–Lehman College

Film student #1: It's kind of like Cloverfield meets The L Word.

–Waverly Place & Broadway

Valley girl wearing UGGs, pointing to Guggenheim: Oh! I think this is the building where Blair and Serena live!

–Outside of Guggenheim

Really effeminate 40-something man: I always pick up when he calls, and he was so mad I didn't this time… but I couldn't, because I was still in mourning over American Idol!

–114th & Broadway

Overheard by: Melissa

Queer to female friend: I was watchin' Oprah the other day. Oprah is legit! She had Christina Applegate on. You know, that girl from Married with Children and she was talkin' 'bout her breasts. She got breast cancer and they took both of them off! She had on of them lumpectomies.

–J Train

Guy: That's the new American dream–fuck up your life so much that you get your own tv show.

–Fundraising Walk, Battery Park

Overheard by: Harriet Vane