Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think…
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Michael Roche
Guy on Cell: Have you ever tried to masturbate while Michael Jackson’s “Rock With You” is playing in the background? Well, it’s more difficult than you think…
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Michael Roche
Guy with clipboard: Hey there! Do you have a minute for gay rights?
Gay dude: Every minute of my life is for gay rights.
Guy with clipboard: Are you aware that there are people in Washington trying to take your rights away?
Gay dude: No shit! That's not news! Leave me alone!
–16th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: mille shayntwright
Asian woman: Well, he's going to die soon enough.
Random woman: You can't wait that long, babe!
–Au Bon Pain
Overheard by: Lucy Lorretta Gambln
Man screaming into phone: We've been having fun and fun and fun. The thing we ain't having is fucking sex!
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: LisaLisa
Psych prof: Now, I don't know anyone who's ever died from not having sex. Maybe they tried to get some and failed in some horrible way that led to their demise, but I don't know anyone who's actually died from not having sex. (later) If you go on a starvation diet, which I don't recommend, be sure to drink water because, uh, you will die.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: High Aspirations
Guy to friend: He's fucking 57 years old and he's still a fucking virgin.
–W Broadway & Thomas
Gay man to straight female friend: I haven't had sex in almost two years… I need to get a dog.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Overweight geeky lunatic protester: The perpetual battery will last longer than any of us! The perpetual battery is the answer to all of our energy problems! It will draw its power from the very vacuum of space!
–Union Square South
Overheard by: Percival
Crazy old guy with beard and hat with lots of buttons: Where is the moon? Where is the moon, where is the galaxy? Have you ever seen Men in Black? It's all about the galaxy. The earth is beneath Columbus Circle. The moon is at 64th and Central Park West. If you had to suspend reality, how would you do it?
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Professor: Has anybody ever seen a solar eclipse? Anybody, anybody? (silence) No? Well, maybe we were all inside on Facebook when it happened…
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Andrea
Visiting professor, explaining "word salad": Cream cheese to the moon mother, fuckers!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Molly Moo
Obviously sober guy: I know Vikings eat ham, but what about Saturn?
–Rotating Cube Sculpture, Astor Place
Blonde: You cannot eat in space! It sucks you in.
–Union Square
Crazy bag man with hat full of buttons: Where's the moon, where's the moon? If the globe on Columbus Cirlce is the earth, the moon is on 63rd Street West. That is a test of spatial ree-al-uh-tee. How well did you do?
–Uptown 3 Train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Customer: Is that banner going to be permanent?
Cashier: For a little while.
–Forbidden Planet
NYU student: “I read the Sunday paper on Sunday–the whole thing–and it really wasn’t that bad! You should try it”
Walking in Union Square
Chick #1: That Dew’s totally going to land on someone’s shoe.
Chick #2: I know. I already stepped on like six feet.
–Mountain Dew promotional party (don’t ask), Greenpoint
Yuppie in the west village: “The thing about pot is that it slows everything down.”
Guy #1: I would never get a tattoo that big.
Guy #2: But it's of a quote that means a lot to me.
Guy #1: Maybe so, but it's permanent.
Guy #2: Well, not anymore…
Guy #1: Okay, true. But it's permanent for the time being.
–Chase Manhattan Plaza
Overheard by: This kind of makes sense
