Confused tourist: Excuse me, I want to take the red line.
Confused New Yorker: You needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: No, I got on at last stop. Want to take the red train.
Confused New Yorker: Yes, you needed to get off at the last stop.
Confused tourist: But I'm not going to that stop.
Confused New Yorker: No, you aren't.
Confused tourist: How do I get on red line?
Confused New Yorker: Help me!
–L Train
Subway voice: The next stop is Bleecker Street.
English tourist #1: Bleecker Street? What's next? Unhappiness Street? Miserable Street? Depression Street?
English tourist #2: Suicide Lane. That's what's next. Now there's a one-way street…
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Percival Under Cover
Tourist, loudly and proudly: They have this store at the mall!
–Louis Vuitton, 5th Ave
College girl: The second floor was pointless. It was, like, just furniture.
–Ikea, Brooklyn
Woman on cell: I'm not in a store! I know what a store looks like!
–Tompkins Square Park
Perturbed NYU chick, about New Orleans: Hopefully I will survive there for two years. They don't have H&M! Or Bloomingdale's or Anthropologie. They don't have Loehmann's…
–NYU Office
Overheard by: Melanie
Middle-aged guy passing clothing store with shirtless male models at front doors: Hollister? What is it, a ladies club inside?
–NoHo
Overheard by: Arielle
Tourist: So what the difference between hummus and falafel?
Guy at counter: Well… one is hummus, and the other is falafel.
–Mamoun's Falafel, MacDougal St
Overheard by: Tacologic
Tourist man to girlfriend, pulling out a ring: Will you marry me?
Bag lady, interjecting: Has he made you come yet?
Tourist girlfriend, terrified: Um… no?
Bad lady: Don't marry him 'till he makes you come.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Kari
Hobo to tourist lady: Can you spare a dollar? Some change?
Tourist lady: Sorry, not today.
Hobo, mumbling as he walks away: Okay, see ya tomorrow.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Rebecca
Tourist woman #1: These people are all moving so fast…
Tourist woman #2: That's because they're in a rush. Don't ask them for directions.
–49th & 7th
Overheard by: Jon A.
Tourist, pointing across the street: Why is it called The Container Store?
Local: Because they have a lot of containers.
Tourist: Like a Tupperware party?
–6th Ave & 18th St
Overheard by: janine
Creepy 20-something: Hey, ma, come here a sec.
Teenage girl tourist: Uh… what?
Creepy 20-something: Please. Please… just hold me. Just hold me for a second.
Teenage girl tourist: Oh. No. I'm just gonna… no.
–Canal Street
Hobo: Where you guys from?
Tourists: Australia.
Hobo: Oh, far, far, far. Tip for you: break the law on weekends. If you break the law on weekdays, it's easier to get caught. But break it on weekends, you can get away with it.
Tourists: Oh… awesome. Thanks.
–C Train
Overheard by: freckles
