White guy #1: Whoa, so you're gonna fight me?
White guy #2: I think I'm gonna fight you… And maybe that tree.
–Steinway St & Broadway
Overheard by: One scary looking tree
White guy #1: Whoa, so you're gonna fight me?
White guy #2: I think I'm gonna fight you… And maybe that tree.
–Steinway St & Broadway
Overheard by: One scary looking tree
Jamaican: She was crazy, mon! She went right up to him and scratched out his mothafuckin’ eyes, mon. Just scratched them right out.
Cop: No way. Really?
Jamaican: That’s what I’m saying, mon! Dude didn’t have no more eyes, mon! His mothafuckin’ eyes was gone! He be walking around blind and shit!
Cop: Wow.
–44th & Madison
Overheard by: Doll
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
30-something Latina: I wish I could beat my daughter like it was allowed when I was growing up.
Friend, nodding knowingly: Uh-huh.
–Gun Hill & Rochambeau
Overheard by: Gutterlush
Guy #1: Hey, answer me seriously, what would you do if one day I killed our neighbor?
Guy #2: I would turn into a giant penis and spray semen all over the city.
–A train
Metrosexual guy: If I was some fish…
Girl, not looking up from her bus schedule: Grammar just cried.
Metrosexual guy: I don’t follow you.
Girl: Good, because if you did, I would have to have you arrested.
Metrosexual guy: I am so confused.
Girl: Do the words ‘you are an idiot’ confuse you?
Metrosexual guy: I hate you.
–28th & 5th
Witness #1: Damn, he slapped the shit out of her.
Witness #2: Use your phone and call the cops.
Witness #1: Hell no. You saw what he just did to his girl — imagine what he would do to me!
–Flatbush area
Overheard by: Damion
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money?
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: Adam Bertocci
Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money!
–M14 bus
Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change!
–14th between 5th & University
Overheard by: theNJl
Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money.
–Starbucks, 27th & Park
Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Knitting girl: Don't let your drunk girlfriend name your cat, because eventually you will break up with her and then you'll have a cat with a stupid name.
–The Point Knitting Cafe
Overheard by: Heather
Woman coming out of restroom, holding a bottle of liquid soap: You gotta keep the cat clean!
–NYU Hospital
Overheard by: A nurse who wish she wasn't sometimes!!
Female tourist, to herself: There are nine ways to skin a cat, and I know all of them.
–23rd & 8th
Man to woman, arguing: Fuck you, Nina, that's the point. You're not taking my cat!
–Central Park
Old man to friend, during lunch: I don't like cats' attitudes. Unlike dogs, they can be so aloof. Especially to Jews…
–Deli, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Allison
White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."
–LIRR
Overheard by: whaaasgood
Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.
–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower
Overheard by: interns are our future
Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.
–Riverside Park
