Girl to friends: When I get really thirsty, I get confused whether I'm thirsty or not.
Guy friend: Yeah, that happens.
–110th & Broadway
Girl to friends: When I get really thirsty, I get confused whether I'm thirsty or not.
Guy friend: Yeah, that happens.
–110th & Broadway
Lady gallerist #1: I had that funeral director in today. Guess what he told me…
Lady gallerist #2: You mean the guy from Jersey who has that huge funeral home?
Lady gallerist #1: Yeah, he purchased a 12k sculpture and said, “it was so nice getting to know you… I wish I could do that with my clients.”
–57th St & Lexington
Bodega clerk, following hobo outside: Why you runnin out my store like it's on fire? I know you!
Hobo: I know what'chu know.
Bodega clerk: I know what'chu know too, but I alto know that I know what you don't know I know.
Hobo: You ain't even be knowin what you know.
–Fulton St
Dramatically upset woman outside bathroom: I knew I had to pee before, but I chose not to! And now I'm facing the consequences!
–La Lanterna, The Village
Overheard by: Sunny
Woman holding child: Does looking at the fountain make you have to pee? It makes mommy have to pee. It's only natural.
–Bryant Park
Guy to friend: No, seriously, I think I legit peed on that guy!
–30th St & 9th Ave
Guy on cell: No, I will not urinate with you!
–The Met
Woman in turtleneck to suit: I mean, people shouldn't only eat when they're hungry. (pause) Or go to the bathroom when they have to… only. That's like, bad for your bladder!
–86th St & 5th Ave
Woman on cell: I don't care about them. I don't care about their urine. I don't care about their office!
–Court & Carroll, Brooklyn
Black man in Batman suit trying to get tourists to pay to take pictures with him: I got bills! I got bills!
–Times Square
Overheard by: kpan
Traffic cop, motioning in vain for car to stop: I guess my powers aren't working today…
–Citifield, 7 Train Entrance
Teenage girl: I love my physics teacher. He's like a fat, middle-aged Superman.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Large man with heavy accent shouting into cell: Please send somebody–I have just been robbed. (pause) I am on the corner. (pause) What do you mean, "white"? He is a Spiderman! He's wearing a Spiderman suit!
–Stanton & Essex
Three-year-old boy to mother: Mommy, there is a baby in your stomach that is making you throw up.
–G Train
Guy with hand over friend's mouth, encouraging him not to throw up: No! No! No!
–Q Train
Guy, pleading with girl: Don't go home. (pukes on self) Why do you have to go home?
–32nd St & Madison Ave
Man standing next to woman throwing up: Beans and rice… No, corn.
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Julian
Grizzly-faced tourist: Yeah, you see those trees over there?
Companion: Yeah.
Grizzly-faced tourist: Those were here when New York was invented by Ed Koch.
–Central Park West & 72nd St
Two-year-old boy to mom: And after dinner, it's butt-shaking time!
–Brooklyn Heights
Tot in stroller: Mommy, I want the tabouleh… Mommy! My tabouleh!
–Food Emporium
Little brother pestering older brother playing PSP: What do you like better, Nutella or A-Rod?
–Stanton Tailor Shop
Two-year-old, after falling to floor when train swerved: Mother, I resent that.
–G Train
Overheard by: Sunny
Girl to boy: You're just upset that I kicked you out without shoes, and I didn't give you cab fare.
–Black Bear Lodge, 3rd Ave
Guy, after cab splashed water on him: That cab just jizzed on me!
–Broadway & Eagerly
Waspy queer on cell: No, no, take the subway. Just for the experience. Don't take a cab. Cabs are for spoiled people.
–M23 bus
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Girl, yelling into window of off-duty taxi: Fine! We're waiting for the cash cab anyway!
–3rd & Sullivan
Overheard by: Heather
Fat girl to friends: You know who I want to be? Motherfucking Rainbow Brite. Bitch had a flying horse.
–29th & 7th
20-something guy, following very loud clap of thunder: By the power of Greyskull!
–Center Boulevard, Long Island City
Overheard by: mixxy5
Hobo, to no one in particular: Find me on the computer; my name's Scooby-Doo.
–Starbucks
Cop to partner: God, working with you is like working with Stewie Griffin. (whiney) Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaan… Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaan!
–Train
