Women

Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!

–D Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Woman #1: My tummy is too full.
Woman #2: My vagina hurts when I walk.

–Outside Tao, 58th & Madison

Overheard by: Huh?

Woman on phone: I don’t care if she did have a gun, they can’t just stick a 16-year-old in with the general population!

–University Pl

Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.

–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)

Overheard by: the lerpa

Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.

–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art

Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period

Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!

–The Met

Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.

–Morgan L Stop on Bogart

Overheard by: not a hipster

Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?

–The Met

Older looking woman to younger one: That guy was so hot. I’d love to go out with him.
Younger woman: Are you kidding? He was really old! Like 70!
Older woman: So what? I am 65!

–57th & 3rd

Overheard by: Rachel Kurst

Woman blocking sidewalk for filming: Please wait two minutes. Just two minutes.
Woman barging through crowd: I didn't know this was a congregation area! (curses at woman blocking crowd)
Polite girl: Since the asshole got through, can the nice people go through?

–Bleecker St

Man to woman, boarding train together: The next stop is 5th Avenue and Bryant Park. You know, you could've walked two more blocks and you would've been there.
Woman: But two blocks is a lot… I just walked four.

–7 Train

Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?

–Q Train

Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.

–Liberty Park

Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.

–Queens

Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.

–Broadway

Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?

–PETCO, Union Square

Overheard by: Lex

Woman on phone: This is completely unacceptable! You work for the United States Government, and this is completely unacceptable!
Crazy old man: Shut up, you stupid cow!

–Hudson & Charles

Woman: It’s like ‘Here’s two boxing gloves. Put them on. Beat yourself up.’

–6 Train