Sassy black lady to a dog on a leash connected to a man lounging in a chair: Oh you’re just precious! You are a good looking puppy! She’s beautiful!
Man in chair (matter-of-factly): I’m so drunk.
–Water & Fulton
Overheard by: Angie
Sassy black lady to a dog on a leash connected to a man lounging in a chair: Oh you’re just precious! You are a good looking puppy! She’s beautiful!
Man in chair (matter-of-factly): I’m so drunk.
–Water & Fulton
Overheard by: Angie
Woman buying camping equipment: Hi, I was wondering if you have any sleeping bags.
Clerk: Um, this is New York, we're not so big on camping. Is this for a photo shoot?
–Army Surplus Store
Woman: Hey! Hey! I know who started the fight! You wanna know?!
Cop: Yeah, sure.
Woman: Actually, I don’t know. Hahaha. I’m going home right now to watch porn, I don’t even care! Haha.
Cop: Wow.
–Broad and Bay, Staten Island
Overheard by: Brandi
Woman waiting on line in Newark airport: “Isn’t it amazing how, whenever you go to a foreign country, you can get such a feel for the country just from the airport? Take New York: you land here, you look out the windows, and the first thing you realize about New York is, ‘aren’t the vehicles here so big!'”
Old woman #1: … so now I have to go all the way downtown, because I’ve been getting these death threats from this man.
Old woman #2: And when is your surgery?
Old woman #1: I missed it because I was so distracted by the threats.
–Bx7 bus
Overheard by: me and my grandma, sitting behind them
Old man: No. Do not do that.
Old woman: I’m not! I’m really not!
Old man: Looking for the truth? That’s for idiots. That’s for morons. Trying to take the facts into your own hands? That’s for idiots. Don’t do it.
Old woman: I know! I’m not!
–14th & 6th
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
Woman #1: After that Oprah, I knew we needed to work at our problems.
Woman #2: Good for you, good for you.
Woman #1: Yeah, I was like “Nigga, you better get up off me, take this knife off my throat, and use some motherfuckin words.”
Woman #2: Girl. Just like Rihanna.
–Escalator, Penn Station
Overheard by: JHillary
20-something girl: I don't believe in foundation makeup.
50-something woman: Really?
20-something girl: I used to wear it a long time ago, when I was younger, but it makes you look so fake, like a doll…which is stupid because we're people!
–Madison Square Park
Headline by: Skipper
Runners-Up:
· “…And That’s When I Dropped Out Of Clown School.” – Danny the Mullins
· “Barbie’s Infiltration Plan Is Working” – Natalie
· “Besides, The Tips at the Carnival Were Totally Not Cutting It” – Dave
· “Britney Tries Her Hand at Philosophy” – Fresca P.
· “Excerpts from the Human Tissue-Silicone Ratio Debate” – ty
· “I Also Refuse Parachutes; I Ain’t No Bird!” – Jeff
· “Max Factor Is…People!” – Chris
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
