Intern: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Employee: Yes, when I was 8. It was when I had my first cigarette.
–3rd Ave
Intern: Have you ever been to Disney World?
Employee: Yes, when I was 8. It was when I had my first cigarette.
–3rd Ave
Guy on cell: Happy birthday! (pause) Okay, call me when you're drunk!
–45th St
Girl on cell: Then when I volunteered to give her to him on his birthday.
–Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Vincent L.
Crazy guy: I'm turning 65 tomorrow… Stayin' away from hoes…
–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Guy to friend: I am boycotting your birthday if I can see your butt cheeks in your outfit.
–23rd & 3rd
Woman: …I am just trying to figure out why you thought it was okay for you to pack for a weekend at my parents’ home, in a backpack.
Man: What’s wrong with my backpack? You know I don’t own an overnight bag.
Woman: How can your only alternative be a fucking backpack? You can’t understand how that would be embarrassing for me? Jesus, Adrian, you’re 37 years old and you’re still traveling with a backpack?
–70th & 3rd
Overheard by: K. Bumsted
Teen #1: Is it legal for someone to fuck someone under 18?
Teen #2: Uh, I think so.
Teen #1: Oh, okay.
–7th & Broadway
Second grade boy #1: When we get to be 10 years old we’re gonna grow hair in our armpits!
Second grade boy #2: Oh, yeah, that’s true — it happened to my brother!
–Elementary school
Overheard by: sit down and eat your lunch
White woman to friend: Wow, this is a great place to meet straight people!
–Madison Square Garden
Dude to female passenger: If I was straight, I'd be hitting that, but I'm not straight, so I won't be hitting that.
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Maggie
Yelling blonde: What's my type? He should be straight, that's my type.
–68th & Columbus
Amateur philosopher: If I wasn't straight, I'd totally be gay.
–Edward R. Murrow High School, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Headaches
Teen girl to friend: They're not gay! They're just old!
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Peter
Older black man to nobody in particular: Ain't nothin' done changed in two-hundred years! White folks is still goin' round makin' a mess and then makin' a black man come in and clean up after them…
–Post Office, Gun Hill & Jerome, The Bronx
Asian girl: Do white people eat sandwiches for dinner?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Spec
Black teen girl: If a sister is feeding a white bitch, you know she is fucked up.
–T.G.I. Friday's
Overheard by: Chris K
Black chick: But can a Frenchman be a honky?
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Hunter
Linguistically savvy hobo: The term "cracker" originated from a man named Robert Whitely. It was used to refer to people as "white trash".
–37th & 3rd
Latina woman to elderly mother: We gonna find you a seat soon, mami. If I gotta beat up white bitches… Let's go.
–3rd & 1st
Overheard by: j
Queer #1: Oh, good god, no! He looks like Jack from Will & Grace…
Queer #2: Oh, stop!
Queer #1: … Only about 30 years older.
Queer #2: That would make him, like, 80!
–Greenwich & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Manhattman
Guy to friend: She overdosed for the first time when she was, like, 14.
Friend: She told you that? (pause) Some first date…
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: JG
Drunk Asian girl: I was like totally supposed to be born on January 23, but was really born a week later, so like on January 30th. Then, a few years later, my sister was born on January 22. She like stole my birthday!
Gay guy: What a bitch!
Drunk Asian girl: I know! I always thought she was older than me because of that!
–Downtown A Train
