JAP girl on line: Why would I be boogieing at temple?
–H&M
Overheard by: Sandjiggie
Redhead JAP: It's too bright, I can't hear you…
–41st & 3rd
JAP: Is saving the whales still, like, a thing?
–F Train
20-something JAP on cell: I mean: I don't want to say that I live in a bubble, but the only people I've spoken to in the last week and a half are you and my doorman.
–42nd St & Lexington
Overheard by: Pete
College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.
–Church St
Overheard by: Emma
20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?
–Outside Town Shop
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!
–H&M, 5th Ave
Overheard by: titti-less
Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!
–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca
Overheard by: emdeebee
Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.
–Arthur Ave
Girl on cell: We got Chinese cable because it was cheaper than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve already seen, I don’t need to actually know what they’re saying.
–N train, Astoria
Queer, on cell: Have you seen Victoria’s boyfriend lately? He looks great. She’s better than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
–Eckerd, Astoria
Mother, to kids: Sorry we just missed the fireworks, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.
–79th St entrance, FDR
Tourist, after eagerly struggling for camera air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it only airs today.
–Taping of the Today Show, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Stephen and Allison
Girl: Well, today they had a woman who was born a man who married a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Maury Povich!
–New York Public Library
Overheard by: Actually READING at the Library
Guy: Sweet Sixteen? That show makes me understand terrorism.
–114th & Broadway
Guy: So in your fantasy life you’re a scholar? That’s ridiculous!
–Williamsburg party
Store guy: I love maps! I could look at maps all day. Maps, and Playboy.
–Barnes & Noble, W. 82nd Street
Overheard by: Brooklyn Julie
Guy on cell: Dude, we should bring lightsabers!…I brought my lightsaber for the last two…
–27th & 3rd
Chick: I could get 100 phone numbers in one night if I went to a sci-fi convention!
–Serendipity, E. 60th Street
Overheard by: Djlindee
Girl on cell: Face eating tumor. Did you hear me? Face eating tumor!
–Grand Central
(Asian tourist walks onto subway with large panda-head shaped hat)
Random guy: Take off that silly ass hat!
–Uptown 1 Train
Guy: When I wear my other coat, I look like a yak.
–Mott St
Overheard by: robin
Thug to friend: I totally know fashion designers. I know who Hill-finger is.
–Thompson Street, SoHo
Drunk guy to orthodox Jew: Nice lid.
–Near Herald Square
Guy walking out of subway: Then she came in and told me to put the mask on.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Sarah
History teacher to class: Now, if you want a decent straw hat, do not make one.
–Millennium High School
Overheard by: Adriana
Guy: Give me a break, she’s into scat! She’ll eat shit, but she won’t lick some ketchup off my hand?
–Folsom Street East
Hipster chick: I didn’t get spat on. I wanted to real bad. But it didn’t happen.
–3rd & St. Marks
Overheard by: robothater
Lady on cell: Yes, that’s right. N as in ‘Nancy,’ M as in ‘umbrella’…
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Conductor: This is a downtown V train — V as in ‘vasectomy.’
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Kim
MTA announcement: The next train is a Brooklyn-bound C train. C as in ‘Shelly.’
–59th St station
Overheard by: Trey Givens
Loud man on cell: No, no, her name starts with an F… No, F… F like in ‘phonics’! What? It doesn’t? Oh, well, I guess you could spell it that way, too.
–L train
Loudspeaker: This is the B-as-in-‘badass’ train. Transfer to the D and Four.
–Yankee Stadium station
Ghetto girl on cell: C… No! C — like the last letter in ‘New York.’
–103rd & Lex
Female yuppie: As a general rule of thumb, I think I should refrain from going to the Hustler Club with my male boss and co-workers from now on.
–Downtown C train
Overheard by: amused passenger
Yuppie: It was the most intense Hava Nagilah I’d ever seen.
–43rd & Lex
Yuppie, examining the New York Public Library: Wow, that library is such a waste of real estate!
–42nd & 5th Avenue
Overheard by: Reader Rabbit
Emo Girl to friend: Oh I love Whole Foods, its like Wal-Mart for Yuppies.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: Addie Wagenknecht
Yuppie, to McDonald’s cashier: Do you have French vanilla capuccino?
–McDonald’s, 34th & 10th
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
