Random guy sitting at bar: I just wanted to let you know that your freckles are truly beautiful.
20-something girl: Uh…thanks.
Random guy sitting at bar: Ya, a girl without freckles is like a night without stars.
–Murray Hill Bar
Random guy sitting at bar: I just wanted to let you know that your freckles are truly beautiful.
20-something girl: Uh…thanks.
Random guy sitting at bar: Ya, a girl without freckles is like a night without stars.
–Murray Hill Bar
Bouncer on phone: I don't care if they is balding, got big guts or little dicks!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: chiddox
Flaming gay man to lover: You have a small dick that never gets erect, and you are not in my will!
–Avenue St John & Kelly Streets, Bronx
Overheard by: Li'l Squeaker
Hobo: Stop controlling my eyeballs to look at your dick!
–Times Square
30-something man: Waaaaait, did they say "dick in cider" or "dick inside her"?
–7th St & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Juicy
High school kid: I wish I had two dicks. (pause) So both of my hands have something to do in class.
–Q27 Bus Stop
Overheard by: cough.cough.cough
Woman on phone: It's not about you, it's about your small dick.
–Times Square
Girl to friend: So you're going to tutor his dick, right?
–University & 10th St
5th grader to friends on stairs: So my brother burned a hole in the floor so we could spy on the neighbors.
–The Spence School
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Hot 20-something: If another mediocre man hits on me after another mediocre meal I am going to burn the city down!
–1 Train
20-something to friend: The house burnt down, and now my dad has no eyebrows. No really, he has no eyebrows.
–Thompkin Square Park
Yuppie guy: You know, I think heartburn is the best kind of burn someone could have.
–Bleecker & Jones
Overheard by: Jas
Five-year-old boy, singing: Let the train, let the train, let the train be on fire!
(continues for a few minutes) Let China, let China, let China be on fire!
–F Train
Subway conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this train is being held due to a…slight fire at the next station.
–C Train
Overheard by: G.
Announcer guy: Hey girl, I love your face. And Charmin loves the other end!
–Charmin NYC Restrooms, Times Square
Overheard by: Nathan
Drunk boyfriend: Thanksgiving is over, and so is our love!
–Grand & Leonard, Williamsburg
Overheard by: fanny
Subway busker, about next song: This is not a love song. The reason that this is not a love song is because I don't like her anymore.
–Time Square
Philosophy professor on last day of class: If you love something, set it free. And if it flies away, run after it and kill it.
–City College
Overheard by: Dan Lurie
20-something guy to friend sharing iPod with him: I would do anything to live there…I would pretend to be in love.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Woman on cell: I will skin and tar you. (pause) Oh, I love you!
–W Broadway & W 3rd St
Random guy: Don't worry, I have metal parts. That comes off.
Guy next to him: Wait…what?
–NYU Poly
Hot girl: Did you see the videos online of Florence Henderson wiping dog poop on some girl's face?
Even hotter girl: No, what the hell are you talking about?
Hot girl: Some video on YouTube.
–Rockefeller Center
Student laying on hallway floor: It has to be bare balls to be called “tea bagging.”
Student standing over him: I am not putting my bare balls into your mouth!
Student laying on hallway floor: I'm not asking you to!
–Columbia University
Ghetto girl: So I used his razor to shave my armpits and he got all pissed talkin' bout germs and shit. I told him, “with all the humpin' we's been doin' I think I'm the one who needs to be worried about germs with all your STDs!”
Ghetto friend: Word.
–6 Train
Drunk sorority girl #1: My feet hurt.
Creepy hobo: Do you need someone to rub 'em for you, baby?
Drunk sorority girl #2: Violated! Violated!
–Bleecker & McDougal
Girl #1: Are you pregnant? Your belly looks big…
Girl #2: No, I just haven't shat for three days.
–4 Train
