Queen #1: Well, you know she's bulimic now, right?
Queen #2: I know! It's so sad! Once she loses all that weight she's just going to figure out she has an ugly face.
–N Train
Overheard by: Andrea
Queen #1: Well, you know she's bulimic now, right?
Queen #2: I know! It's so sad! Once she loses all that weight she's just going to figure out she has an ugly face.
–N Train
Overheard by: Andrea
Girl #1: So did you make out?
Girl #2: No, but I threw up in my mouth a little.
–13th & Broadway
Overheard by: I hope you had a mint afterwards
Concerned teacher: Where is Ronald Reagan? Who took Ronald Reagan?
–ACORN High School for Social Justice
Middle aged lady to companion: Ronald McDonald has his nose up Hello Kitty's dress.
–Macy's Balloon Inflation before Thanksgiving Day Parade
Hobo: If you ever touch Halle Berry, I'll fucking smack you!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Margot
Girl yelling to friend getting out of cab: Get back here before I bite you in the face like Chris Brown!
–St. Mark's Place & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Janelle
Stoner, as credits roll for movie Push: Dude…fuck Dakota Fanning!
–Palace Theatre
Guy: But come on, it's the Jonas Brothers in 3-D. It's like pimples and eyebrows, comin' at'cha!
–E 17th St
Overheard by: the Big R
Happy-go-lucky hobo: Liza Minelli? I thought that bitch was dead. (singing at the top of his lungs) I want to be a part of it…New York, New York!
–47th & 7th
Overheard by: Jesse Cromer
Party girl, bending over to pet a dog tied to a mailbox: Hi, puppy!
Male friend: Don't do that, don't pet a strange dog.
Random black guy, barking: He gonna bite your hand!
Party girl: I'm going to bite your hand.
Random black guy: You bite my hand, I bite yo booty.
–Hudson & 10th
Overheard by: erkala
Three-year-old boy, refusing to get in stroller: Shit! Shit! Shit, mommy! Shit!
–Chelsea Market
Overheard by: Sarah
Young boy, yelling after hearing Jesus freaks preach: What a bunch of shit that is!
–7th Ave & 33rd St
Overheard by: Colleen
Hobo drinking Red Bull: This is Red Bull shit!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: RevolutionSuzi
30-something lady on cell: I'm gonna be shitting my brains out later.
–Astoria
Seasoned-looking guy, watching hobo pee in the middle of a subway car: I ain't never seen that shit before. That shit is brand new!
–4 Train
Overheard by: i will be traumatized forever
Menacing black woman on phone: I'mma go home and shit on my girlfriend's China.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: Penelope
Student #1: Well, one reason that we see a lot of tongues in Japanese monster culture might be because of an inherent aversion to bodily fluids! Like I heard Japanese people take showers before and after sex.
Student #2: Plus, in Hentai there's always way more fluids in the sex scenes than there really should be.
Student #3: Besides, there's a lot of tongue use in sex.
Professor: Well, why do you suppose that is?
Student #3: Because you like, lick stuff! Jeez!
–East Asian Studies Class, Columbia University
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Middle aged drunk woman: Excuse me sir, do you know what nasal douching is?
Random 20-something guy: Uh, I think it's when you stick your nose up in there and blow it out or something.
–Grand Central
Woman to friend: I woke up, and he was fucking my ear! Fucking my ear! Fuck. Ing. My. Ear!
–Walker & Canal
Overheard by: office peon
Girl on cell: So yeah, he just kinda turned to her, handed her some napkins and told her to prepare herself for a good fingering.
–New Jersey Transit
Girl in school hallway: Nasty little tenth graders having sex in the stairwells…
–Bard High School Early College
Guy to another: There's only three things people need in this world. Sex. Food. (pause) Yeah, okay, that's it.
–125th & Lexington
Student #1: (makes elaborate point with with ample hand gesticulation)
Student #2: Oh wow. You just made love to me with words.
–113th & Broadway
Crazy lady: Santa ain't comin' to Brooklyn! And I'll be drunk tomorrow, don't you ring my bell! (gets off train and leaves bag. 20-something guy gives it to her) Have we had sex before!? We should have sex! I like you! (doors start closing) We should really have sex!
–C Train
Black man handing out leaflets: Your feet are like chicken nuggets, and I want to eat them!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Father to toddler: Well, what if I go crazy and bite your butt off?
–M&M World Store
Hispanic man to friends: Yo, man–I eat that pussy from *behind*!
–61st & 3rd
NYU guy: No, I don't condone cannibalism. Though I could see why you think I would.
–NYU Elevator
Overheard by: queenofscots
Middle aged woman on cell: You will never see your penis again! No more penis! Is that punishment enough for you?
–82nd & Columbus Ave
Black man to friend: None of them jeans fit, cuz my cock is just too huge, nigga!
–Steve & Barrys, Mariners Harbor Staten Island
Overheard by: Samantha
Sister to brother leaning on her crossed leg: Excuse me, I feel like your pee-pee is resting on my foot.
–7 Train
Latina to friend: He did everything short of taking out his penis and smacking him with it!
–Jerome Ave, the Bronx
Chick: Man, I just feel like there are a lot of penises and penis information in my life lately.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Meister E.
Middle aged man on cell: But does she know about King Dong, the penis pump?
–Stuyvesant St, Manhattan
