Little Wednesday One-Liner on the Prairie

20-something woman on cell: I fuck you, I get dinner. He fucks you, he gets a house!

–Washington Square

Girl: Earthquakes come every ten years, and it's not that bad. It's not like your house goes down or something.

–Flushing, Queens

Overheard by: mia

Excited kindergartner: We played house and then we played going to the co-op!

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Elderly man to another: People are gonna kill people, they just need to do it in their own house.

–Austin St & 77th Ave

20-something: So yeah, we used to hang out in elementary school. He'd come over my house, kinda like a "whose cock is bigger?" kinda thing.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: AnnaBanana

Posted on March 31, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Cops, Dating, Elementary & Middle School, Food, Gifts, Girls, Height, Home, Sweet Home, Kids, Men, Murder, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Parks, Penis, Queens, Sex, Street, Time, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Red Lobster Is Fancier

Teenage black girl to white guy and black girlfriend: Take her to Red Lobster! Red Lobster is the best. It's like an expensive date restaurant.
50-something black guy, interrupting: Red Lobster? Are you fucking serious? Red Lobster is fast food!
Teenage girl, after rethinking: Well… There's a Denny's in Brooklyn.

–LIRR

Posted on March 25, 2010
Advice, Black People, Couples, Dating, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Teens, Trains Not Subway, White People

Wednesday One-Liners Have No Trouble Getting Dates

Girl on bench, to guy in whose arms she is snuggled: Get your shit together and decide if you like men or women before you come around trying to date me!

–Battery Park

Woman to friend: What's with all these bi-colored, bi-curious tomatoes?

–Farmers Market, Union Square

Overheard by: Dave

Thug on cell: Yo! You didn't know that? (pause) Yeah man, he love pussy, but he love dick too!

–6th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Drunk blonde: I like both black guys and white guys. Does that make me bi?

–Joshua Tree Bar, Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: Mon

Posted on March 17, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Battery Park, Colors, Dating, Drunks, Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Penis, Physical appearance, Questions, Race, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Do Wednesday One-Liners Make You Hot?

20-something guy dressed as Edward Cullen for Halloween: So anyway, I walk in, and they are both sitting there, playing with each other's erections…

–Bedford Ave & Berry St

Overheard by: Marie Miller Barnes

Ginger kid in audience, as photo of awkward Asian teen sticking banana in his mouth is projected on movie screen: I am definitely aroused.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Joggers to another: Raging hard-ons!

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Katie

20-something girl to another: How could he not go out with you? I mean, you gave him a boner at Relay For Life!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Becca

Posted on March 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Dating, Erections, Fruit, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Horny, Kids, One-liners, Questions, School, Sex, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wasn't This a Chris Rock Documentary?

Black woman #1: So, she's got him at her place setting up her new furniture while she's out fucking another guy.
Black woman #2: Where does he think she's at?
Black woman #1: Her hair done. She's got him convinced that it takes eight hours to relax that short shit.
Black woman #2: Man, that's why a white man should never date a black woman. I'd never get away with that shit with my man.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: Overhearer

Posted on February 21, 2010
Black People, Dating, Hair, Infidelity, Lies, Physical appearance, Port Authority, Race, Sex, Time, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Go Animal Crackers

Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tarah

Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.

–St. Mark's & 3rd

Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!

–Bronx High School of Science

Overheard by: urbanadventurer

Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!

–4th Ave & 3rd St

Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?

–Bergen & Court

Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium

Posted on February 10, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Beastiality, Body Parts, Bronx Science, Dads, Dating, Friends, Girls, Guys, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, On Cell, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Maybe She'd Tell Me I'm Pretty and That She Loves Me

Girl: I don't date much.
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Umm… No reason.
Guy: Are you a lesbian?
Girl: No!
Guy, pointing to a girl walking by: Would you date her?
Girl, thinking it over: I actually might.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Andrew

Posted on January 15, 2010
Central Park, Dating, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Lies, Parks, Sexuality

…In the Chuck E. Cheese Ball-pit Of My Love.

Young suit #1: So she told me next week was better for her. Do you think that means anything?
Young suit #2: I don't know, man! (laughs)
Young suit #1: Well, she told me she can go swimming!

–Elevator 3rd & 44th

Posted on December 20, 2009
Dating, Elevators, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Sports, Suits

Wednesday One-Liners Were Pretty Hot, Back in the Day

20-something man walking into restaurant: I'd never bring my grandmother here for a date!

–27th & Lexington

Teen: That shit was sick! That shit was sick! I wanna go home and slap my grandmother!

–94th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Slapped her how?

Ghetto dude in fight with girlfriend: Your grandmother is a bitch!

–Murray St & Church St

Guy to friend: My grandma used to chase us around with fly swatters…

–Houston & Allen

Posted on November 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bitch-slap, Boyfriends, Dating, Family Ties, Friends, Girlfriends, Guys, Insects, Insults, Lower East Side, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, One-liners, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Teens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Violence, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Raise the Roofie

Woman on phone: Mommy, how many people do you know who have been raped as much as her? None, exactly!

–Midtown East

Overheard by: dtrain

Woman on cell: And I didn't get raped on the subway today! It's always a good day when I don't get raped.

–6th Ave & 10th St

Overheard by: that's always good

Teen meathead on cell: Wait what? I can't really hear you. (pause) You got raped? Wait… physically or emotionally? (pause) Both? Shit.

–American Eagle Dressing Room

Overheard by: Alyssa

College bro to friend: Nah, dude, it's even better than a date rape drug!

–East Village

Girl: There are some girls who he would be more likely to rape. She's not one of them.

–Graham Ave

Posted on October 28, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Drugs, Frat Boys, Friends, Girls, Meatheads, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions, Rape, Store, Street, Teens, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Dating