Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
Black guy: I prefer to keep my lesbianism in question. Sort of like a wave function.
White girl, cutting him off: Ah! Don't talk about wave functions ever!
–Hunter College
Overheard by: but keep talking about the lesbianism
Girl putting mayonnaise on cheeseburger: Ugh, I'm gonna have a heart attack after this.
Friend eating Pierogis: Oh, I have heart attacks like, every day.
–Little Poland Restaurant
Overheard by: Adriana
Dude, hitting on girl: So, I'm going to NYU to study for my master's.
Girl, with dim-witted enthusiasm: I want a master's!
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Girl #1: I hated Anne frank.
Girl #2: Yeah, she was such a baby.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Overheard by: Christiaan
Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!"
–Starbucks
Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother.
–E Train
Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is?
–Strip Club, Queens
Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth)
–Museum of Natural History
Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday.
–NYU
Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that
Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City!
–Penn Station
20-something man, during West Side Story, when Tony climbs in bed with Maria: Get it, son!
–Palace Theatre
Old man, leaving theater after seeing Hair: I told you we should have seen Mary Poppins.
–45th & 8th
Overheard by: Leela
Girl, looking at a barricaded rally: Oh my god, it is so Les Miz up in here.
–48th St & 6th Ave
Long Island woman to friend, leaving the theater after Mary Poppins: That wasn't anything like the movie. The movie had cartoons, this was real people.
–Amsterdam Theater, 42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: MikeyMouse
Man to friend, during Waiting for Godot: Oh my god, you know what would make me really pissed? I'd be so angry if that Godot guy didn't show up at the end of the play.
–Studio 54
Woman to husband, during Waiting for Godot: Is this a musical?
–Studio 54
Overheard by: Hannah
Dude to another: One of us threw up in Joanna's underwear drawer, so she was really pissed.
–181st & Bennett
Girl to another: Well, you don't want to throw up in front of the guy you just had sex with!
–7th b/w 2nd & 3rd
Girl in diner booth: I'm about to throw up in my pants.
–Henry & Court
Overheard by: Alex
Train conductor lady: I am not playin'. People need to get home. Get all the way in or get off. If you are vomiting, please exit the train. I will keep this train right here and kick off every damn one of you wearing green.
–Penn Station, St. Patrick's Day
Guy, vomiting on tree: Man, fuck that tang.
–Carlton Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Zoe
Thug teenager to woman shoving umbrella between doors to keep them open: Shit, woman! You'd best pull that umbrella out. This ain't no number train, we will leave yo ass!
–R Train
Very excited middle-aged woman hearing doo-wop singers board train: Woooo! Music train!
–R Train
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl on subway car looking at subway map: What, there's no "you are here"?
–A Train
Overheard by: Rins
20-something girl: Ugh, I hate the subway. They need to, like, invent a, like, above-ground transportation system!
–6 Train
Man walking onto train, slowly: All the premium seats are taken.
–A Train
Overheard by: glad i'm in first class
Gay guy: You know what's so cute, is Europe.
–Mott & Prince
Overheard by: Anna P.
College girl to friend: And I'm like "No, you can't chew on the couch. You can't have couch for breakfast." (pause) But what about you, are there any cute guys in your dorm?
–Downtown 1 Train
Girl on phone: Oh-h-h-h my gawd, girl, you don't even know! And then he goes "Damn, girl you in Delta Gamma? Nothing goes down faster than an anchor!" And then I was just like "Shut up!" but I did it anyways, I mean… he was cute.
–Gates to Fordham University
Man on cell picking through garbage can and walking away with trash in hand: Oh my god, I just found the cutest belt in a trash can! Honestly, the things people throw away!
–118th St & Amsterdam Ave
Gay guy marching in protest to another: The guys in this protest are much cuter than at the last protest I attended.
–63rd St & Broadway
Catholic schoolgirl #1: And that would hurt a lot more because my boobs are swollen because I'm getting my period.
Catholic schoolgirl #2: You just announced that to the entire train…
Catholic schoolgirl #1: Well, you're the one who was gonna hit it!
–F Train
Overheard by: Amanda
