Girl to mother: Twat!
Mother: You mean “twit”.
Girl: No, I mean “twat”.
Mother: Honey, a twat is a woman's vagina.
Girl: Get out.
–28th & 7th
Girl to mother: Twat!
Mother: You mean “twit”.
Girl: No, I mean “twat”.
Mother: Honey, a twat is a woman's vagina.
Girl: Get out.
–28th & 7th
Hipster girl: So, we were talking about, like, Derrida, and like the universe, and then he just kissed me. It was so romantic.
Hipster gay guy, clearly not listening, staring into phone: Oh, so cute. So cute.
Hipster girl: James*, he kissed me!
Hipster gay guy: Woof, woof. Bark. Arf!
Hipster girl: What?
Hipster gay guy: I thought you were talking about a dog, so I chimed in.
Hipster girl: You need to stop doing E.
Hipster gay guy: It makes masturbating great, though.
–Columbia University
Teen girl: Anna told me you liked me?
Teen guy: Yeah.
Teen girl: Why didn't you tell me or ask me out?
Teen guy: Well, I was afraid you would say no.
Teen girl: Why don't you ask me now and see what I say?
Teen guy: Do you want to go out sometime?
Teen girl: Sorry, no.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: Hugh
Guy: Please give me a quickie…maybe in the bathroom?
Girl: You just bought me coffee…let me finish it first.
Guy: The coffee can't wait?
Girl: It's a hell of a lot better than a quickie in the bathroom.
–Mimi's Cafe, Church & Chambers
Girl drafting floor plan: I've decided I'm going to open a funeral parlor that's sleek, modern and sophisticated. Someplace that doesn't look like your grandma just died there.
Female British classmate: That's awesome. My big idea is to start a protection service for lesbians.
Girl drafting floor plan: Like, security?
Female British classmate: No. Like, safe sex?
–Interior Design Class, FIT
Drunk blonde girl: Yeah, Ryan and I made out two weeks ago.
Drunk friend: Really, oh my god! When?
Drunk blonde girl: Yeah, I told you this! It was before we slept together.
–50th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: i certainly hope so..
Girl to another: So now, tell me, how does it feel to be a part of the inferior sex?
Guy: Wait, so you're admitting that women are inferior?
Girl: I have to wake up every morning and put on make-up!
–Washington Square Park
Girl #1, running to train: Hold the doors!
Girl #2: I'm coming!
Girl #1, getting to train: Whew! I got it! Hurry up!
Girl #2: Hold the doors! (gets to train) We got it!
Girl #1: Yeah, I didn't think we'd make it.
Girl #2: Where's Leslie?
(doors close)
–1 Train
Overheard by: EthanK
Nanny to four-year-old: Please stop screaming, you are going to give me a headache!
(pause)
Four-year-old: I had a headache once!
–Upper West Side Elevator
Chick: I mean, we could discuss the merits of jacking off over the toilet.
Dude: There are merits?
–Vol de Nuit, W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: ultracondensed movies
