White hobo, descending from second floor: Hey! (entire restaurant freezes) Yo, fellas–stay black.
(complete silence)
Black guy: Yo, man–stay white.
–Burger King, Herald Square
White hobo, descending from second floor: Hey! (entire restaurant freezes) Yo, fellas–stay black.
(complete silence)
Black guy: Yo, man–stay white.
–Burger King, Herald Square
Girl: I don't know why the express stops at Shea Stadium. No one ever gets off here.
Guy: True.
Girl: I mean I can understand if it's during the baseball season… Actually, even then no one gets off here.
–7 Train
Girl to friend: I mean, if he was rich I would pretend to like him; but he's not, so…
–46th & 3rd
Guy on street to couple: Baby girl, you're just embarrassing yourself. Don't do it. You know you're just with him for his money cuz everyone knows white men ain't got no dick.
–5th & 32nd
Ghetto young man: That is why I'm gonna marry a rich white woman. My daughter needs a good life; my sugar mama can pay for her to go to a private school. I'm a playa, but I gotta marry a rich white woman for my baby girl.
–A Train
20-something guy to friends: So this chick I like says "let's wait until you start making money til we start dating." So I said to her "what makes you think I want to date you once I start making money?"
–St Mark's
Midwestern mother to ticket vendor: Thank goodness for the bus, we've been in the hotel for four days because we can't walk anymore!
–50th St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Kate
Ditz, singing and marching: It's a sidewalk, so I have to walk on it!
–St. Mark's & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Hannah
Sarcastic, portly girl: Great, my two favorite things: walking and learning.
–Governor's Island Ferry
Crazy man in the middle of the street blocking traffic: Car are outlawed! Walk everywhere! I walked to China last week! I walked to Paris yesterday!
–18th & 3rd
Overheard by: Maria
Tough guy to another: I'm a little afraid to walk around with you 'cause it seems everyone you work with dies.
–PJ Clarke's
Guy #1: Hey, where do lamb chops come from? What animal?
Guy #2: (shrugs shoulders)
Guy #1: I think they come from a pig, like pork chops, but a different part of the animal.
Guy #2: Sounds about right.
Guy #3: Are you fucking kidding me?
–96th St & West End Ave
Dude to friend: You know what I mean, right?
Friend: Yeah, you mean he's rich, right?
Dude: Yeah, he's rich, but he's not independently wealthy. I mean, if he didn't have all that money, he wouldn't be rich.
–88th St & Columbus Ave
Overheard by: P. Marino
Random guy to two girls: Hey, are you from NYU?
Girl: Yeah.
Random guy: Murderers!
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Teenage black girl to white guy and black girlfriend: Take her to Red Lobster! Red Lobster is the best. It's like an expensive date restaurant.
50-something black guy, interrupting: Red Lobster? Are you fucking serious? Red Lobster is fast food!
Teenage girl, after rethinking: Well… There's a Denny's in Brooklyn.
–LIRR
20-something suit on phone: Yeah, man. Just come over. We can spoon and talk about chicks and shit.
–Wall & Pearl
Overheard by: traceface
Thug to another: Those bitches be cuddlin' your wounds!
–42nd St
Hispanic woman on phone: Yeah, it's crazy snowin' outside. (pause) Uh-huh, yeah, you wanna cuddle. (pause) Hahaha, uh-oh! (pause) Uh-oh, spaghetti-o! (pause) Haha, no, you've already done that. (pause) Hahaha… You've done that already. I have to spin the other way now.. (pause) He he he, you're crazy. Hee heee. (pause) Well, you have a lovely day inside a warm place!
–Q Train
Overheard by: Em Allears
Crazy lady to herself: Does anyone wanna snuggle me for the hell of it? (five minutes later) Why are all these people here? Is it a workday? Cuz if it is, I'm going to get fired. I need a beer!
–G Train
Overheard by: LaughedOutLoud
Guy at cafe: I have pillows just for spooning.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Guy: Guess what? We had sex.
Girl: (gasp)
–8th St & University Pl
Overheard by: JBeck
