Guy in stall #1: Hey, can you pass me some toilet paper? There's none here.
Guy in stall #2: Sure. (pause) Here's a bit. It ain't much.
Guy in stall #1: I'll take whatever you can give me.
Guy in stall #2: Sure, I know how it is. (starts to sing) I know how it iiiiiis, to be stranded on the toilet bowwwwwl…
–Men's Restroom, Bryant Park
Older guy at table: Goddamn it!
Younger man: What's the matter?
Older guy: Do you ever get some loose skin from your ball sack stuck in you fly? I can tell you right now, it's a motherfucker!
Younger guy: No, that's why we wear underwear.
Older guy: Yeah, well back in my day I was raised without them and god forbid, as long as I live, I'll never put one on till I'm cold dead.
–Burger King, Broadway
Guy selling purses out of a suitcase: Coach, Gucci, Prada! Purses for cheap!
Tourist lady: Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady (louder): Are these real?
Crowd of shoppers: (no response)
Tourist lady: Did you steal these?
–Canal St.
French girl #1: My friend cannot eat pineapple, because the last time he did, he got this -what do you call it- in his mouth…
American guy: Herpes!
French girl #2: Uh… I don't know if that is the word.
French girl #1: Yea, he ate it and had these little spots…
American guy: Herpes! I have herpes all the time, too.
French girl #2: Maybe it is the same word in English.
(later)
French girl #1: Well he has this small problem near his eye…
American guy: An eye tumor?
French girl #1: Yes, like a little, uh, tumor.
American guy: Man, you guys have weird diseases in France.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: AJ
Black guy to Jewish guy: Hey man, you look pretty Jewish.
Jewish guy: Yeah, I know. You look pretty black.
–St. Mark's Place
Guy #1: Can't believe there are so many cops out.
Guy #2: It's probably because of the 4th of July, you know, security threats, terrorism.
Drunk girl (shouts, pumps fist in the air): Oh yeah, terrorism!
Guy #2: Can you not do that 10 feet from those cops?!
Drunk girl: What, who cares? I'm white. It's ironic!
–W. 43rd & Broadway
Stoner guy: And then I realized that we are the reality of reality, get it?
Slightly less stoner looking girl: Wow. Okay. What else did you do your first day at work?
–St. Marks Place
Overheard by: Garuda
Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: redshikari
Dude: I have barometric boobies!
–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.
–St. Mark's Chipotle
College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.
–Columbia University
Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!
–74th & 3rd
Overheard by: Joanna L.
Guy to girl: The point of the game is to make the other person unwittingly look at your genitals.
–106th & Amsterdam
Ghetto kid to friend: If I was in the middle of sex, I would say I'll come back to you later, play in the poker game, and then come back and bust that nut.
–9th St & 8th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Rahstah
Worker to partner: You know what I'm going to do since I don't have to work tomorrow? I'm going to turn the volume on my laptop all the way up and play pinball until 1 am. It will be so loud! Ping ping ping ping!
–69th & Lexington
Overheard by: 6th Floor Blogger
Hipster girl on cell: I'm going home to eat and relax first, and then I'll be over to play Tropical Barbie bingo.
–Lorimer/Metropolitan, Brooklyn
Group of little girls to little boy: Wanna play Mormon family with us?
–Brooklyn Botanic Garden
Overheard by: James
Guy: Rachel! You're so stupid!
Rachel: I'm not stupid! I'm just sexy.
–5th Ave
