Hobo to lady: Hey, can I have a dollar?
Lady to hobo: Why? You already have a bottle of liquor, what else you need?
Hobo to lady: A fine pretty thing like you.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: I love NYC
Hobo to lady: Hey, can I have a dollar?
Lady to hobo: Why? You already have a bottle of liquor, what else you need?
Hobo to lady: A fine pretty thing like you.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: I love NYC
Hobo: Spare some change, fine-lookin' sir?
Suit: Would your name by any chance be Henry?
Hobo: Do I look like a mothafuckin' Henry? Hell no!
Suit: Well, that would be a correct assumption, as Henrys are usually successful.
Hobo: Well then, are you a Henry?
Suit, proudly: Yeah.
Hobo: Spare some change, good-lookin' Henry?
Suit: Nah.
–1 Train
Overheard by: i could've been a henry
Guy: I hope you got a fuckin' Dixie Cup, 'cause that's what you're gonna need to hold it!
–42nd & 5th
Middle aged suit, to no one in particular: Spoon! Spoooon! Spooooon!
–Au Bon Pain, Broad St
Overheard by: Sarah Booz
Young guy with backpack to young wife: Teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup, teacup.
–Sheridan Square
Crazy hobo on subway: Hey you! Did you take my spoon? I know you took my spoon! Why would you do that to a guy?
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Scared British Tourist
Indignant yuppie: I wanted to stab her with a fork! It's a good thing we were at a sushi restaurant.
–69th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Hobo: Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? Selfish fucking morons! Can you spare some change? I love you.
–Broadway & 9th St
Hobo to everyone on train: Stand clear the closing doors, ladies and gentlemen. Please watch the gap between the train and the platform. Walk over it, not in it. Your safety is my number one priority because: without you, I don't eat.
–4 Train
Crazy hobo to man: I don't want your change. I want that! (points to man's crotch)
–F Train
Hobo: Can you spare me 600,000 dollars?
–Broadway & 97th St
Overheard by: Martijn H
Drunk hobo to restaurant owner: Oh, man, I've missed you! You haven't cursed me out in forever!
–Restaurant, Ave A & 7th St
Overheard by: Tigertail
Hobo: Don't you have a heart?
Girl: No.
Hobo: It's a shame.
–48th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Drunk hobo: You guys are attractive. You got the hair thing going on and you have the sideburns working for you. (flexes biceps)
Teenage boys: Ummm… Thanks.
Drunk hobo: Guys… listen. Guys… birds of a feather fly together. Birds of a feather fly together. You don't see seagulls flying with pigeons or pigeons flying with seagulls. Birds of a feather fly together! You guys have any money?
(they give him some change, he walks away)
Sketchy man overlooking: Wow… that guy was crazy. Do you kids want some weed or some blow?
–Sitting Area, 48th & 8th
Overheard by: Brendan
Old hobo sitting on sidewalk to grad student: Hey man! You want some cocaine?
Grad student: No, thanks man.
Old hobo: Alright, have a good night.
Grad student: You too.
–Chelsea
Overheard by: tee hee :)
Girl holding orchid: Orchids are the thinking man's rose.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: Samantha
Hipster girl to hipster guy: I'm telling you, these trees smell like semen.
–10th St b/w 1st & Ave A
Overheard by: Libby
Disheveled hobo to granola-looking lady with khaki shorts, matching hat, and three-foot braided ponytail: You goin' on a nature walk, baby? I'd like to take a hike with you and make sweet love beside a pine tree.
–89th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jesse Cromer
20-something hipster: He face-planted into my potted plant, and then later he pissed himself.
–Gowanus Yacht Club, Brooklyn
Overheard by: big bad don
Hobo: Yo, boy! Can I ask you something for a minute?
Teenage boy, walking quickly: I'm sorry, I'm in a rush.
Hobo: Bitch, it's not like I wanna fuck you or anything!
–Barrow St
Overheard by: Poky
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
