Man #1: I always look for hot babes on the way to work, but never see much.
Man #2: That's because the hot ones work in fashion. Only ugly girls have to be at work this early.
–Columbus Circle
Man #1: I always look for hot babes on the way to work, but never see much.
Man #2: That's because the hot ones work in fashion. Only ugly girls have to be at work this early.
–Columbus Circle
Man: Who was that chef who said “Butter, butter, bring me more butter.”?
Woman: Umm, I think you just made that up.
Man: No, he said it. And he meant it, and he was right! (butters roll)
–Brazil Grill, 8th Ave & 48th
Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?
–Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?
–D Train
(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for…
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: EK
Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.
–Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ewan Walsh
Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?
–Halloween Adventure Store
Overheard by: McF
Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.
–Birthday party, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: PG
Man: So I was making out with my ex girlfriend on the bridge and out of nowhere this dog runs over and starts humping my leg…
–Uptown 1 Train
Dude outside bar: All dogs are gay.
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: The Katie
Black man arguing with kiosk man: Yo, he ain't my son, he's my dog!
–6th Street
Middle-aged woman walking her dog to passersby: I'm a dog! I don't know why none of you believe me! I talk to my dog. Humans don't talk to animals, animals talk to animals! I'm not human! And until you people realize that, you're going to keep having problems with me!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Katie
Drunk guy to girls walking puppy: Hey giiirl. Watch yo dawg. Giiirl! Watch yo dog… Cuz I might bite!
–Staten Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Izzy
(teacher's cell rings)
Teacher: I have a feeling I have to answer this. It's very important. It's about my puppy.
–Stuyvesant High School
Overheard by: student
Guy on cell: I mean, it was bigger than a horse. But it had four humps.
–14th & 2nd
Overheard by: LIZ
Drunk man: A plastic sheep or a real sheep… When it comes down to it… is there really any difference?
–Biddy Early's Pub
Chick on cell: It's better than riding a golden yak!
–Morningside Heights
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Man to friend: Did I mean "wombats"? Of course I meant fucking wombats!
–3 Train
Blonde: What is a mongoose and where can I get one?
–Times Square
Guy on cell (fumbling with a pack of Marlboros): Well, for one, it’s been ten days since the baby snakes have eaten.
–92nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Mad Man
Middle-aged white guy: …so we told the children they couldn't go to the petting zoo, to see how they would react. (pause) It was interesting on a psychological level.
–Outside of Butler Library, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Yelling man: Excuse me, attention please, girls only! Two years ago we were blessed by an earth angel, and that earth angel is me, in this body! If you want to come with me, girls, to heaven, I can give you some pamphlets, information…but there is a catch! Only girls under the age of 29 may come with the earth angel! Girls above the age of 29 are destined to the infernal afterlife!
Queer Latino to lady friend: Guess you're gonna burn.
–4 Train
Overheard by: nooners
European man: Aww, what a beautiful baby. So nice…
Thai woman (in Thai): Do you want to be the daddy?
–N Train
Overheard by: NYC24
(man is eating, drug dealer sits at his table)
Dealer: An eight ball, right?
(man's cell rings, he answers)
Man (into cell): I'm… at the gym. (pause) Yeah, and this call has made me one of those annoying people on the phone at the treadmills. I'll call you later. (to dealer) Yeah, an eight ball.
–McDonald's, The Village
Overheard by: soccerboy
Man #1: The French gave America the Statue of Liberty?
Man #2: Yeah. Because America gave them the Eiffel Tower.
–Staten Island Ferry
Old man: Because you know I love only you.
Young woman: I love you, too.
Random guy walking by: No he doesn't, he just wants your pussy.
–E Train
Overheard by: Ting
