Dirty Wednesday One-Linering

Tired thug teen, wistfully: I'd dance like crazy in a basement.

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Two-year-old boy, pointing at three-month old baby: Isn't that guy in my dance class?

–Red Hook, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Swimfan

Clueless man to friend: What do you call male ballerinas anyway? Ballers?

–Cirque du Soleil Show, Randall's Island

Overheard by: TheGreenCat

Girl to friend: I didn't dance with him at all…I kept walking away from him…I wasn't actually a very good prom date.

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: wink

Metrosexual on cell: Do you have a large table in your apartment? Is it large enough for five men to stand on? Of course, we won't be dancing!

–Upper West Side

Posted on July 8, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Dating, Education, Friends, Girls, Height, Kids, Men, Metrosexuals, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Teens, The Bronx, Theater, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Isn't This from an Ionesco Play?

Man: Get over here!
Woman: My father is dead!

–Union Square

Posted on July 6, 2009
Death, Family Ties, Men, Parents, Union Square and East Village, Women

Subway Preacher Tip #403: Know Your Audience.

Jamaican man: The biggest issue of our society is not terrorism but men lusting after women's butts! If you lust after women's butts you will burn in hell! Women, do not show off your butts for you will burn in hell! Do not wear jeans or tight pants! Make sure you cover up your butts!
Passenger: I love the butts.
Jamaican man: Do you have no soul? The lust of the women's butts will only bring you to the devil! Please save yourself and stop lusting after the butts!
Passenger: Who loves the butts?
All men on train: Yay butts!

–Uptown 4 Train

Overheard by: white girl with a big butt wearing tight pants

Posted on July 6, 2009
Ass, Compare/Contrast, Men, On the Subway, Passengers, Satan, Terrorism, Threats

A Fitting End for Mr. Gere

Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Not how I wanna go

Posted on July 4, 2009
Choke, Death, Men, Questions, Skinny People, Teens, Times Square, We Love Our Pets

I Thought It Was an Inside Joke Between the Two Of You

Man #1, to dog: See you later, Cody.
Man #2 (dog owner): His name is Toby.
Man #1: But I've been calling him Cody for ten years!
Man #2: I know.

–Hell's Kitchen

Overheard by: M. Blair

Posted on July 3, 2009
Man's Best Friend, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Time

Whatever He Says, He's Thinking “Oh, Fuck You”

Man walking north: Hi!
Woman in leather pants walking south: Oh! It's you. My ass has been pinched six times today, so I'm not really into people right now, but how are you?

–81st & 3rd

Posted on June 26, 2009
Ass, Bimbettes, Men, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Next Thing I Know You'll Be Putting My Baby in the Corner!

Black woman with baby, after being pushed by white woman entering crowded subway: Do you not see the baby?
White woman: Yes, I saw the baby!
Black woman: No, you didn't, because you were pushing your titties on the baby!
(white woman ignores her)
Black woman to man next to her: You! Get yo ass out of my baby's face!

–F Train

Overheard by: What's a sombrero?

Posted on June 26, 2009
Ass, Babies, Black People, Crazy, Men, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Rack, White People, Women

…Unless You're Going to Prank Call Her.

Disheveled middle aged man: You are drunk! You are drunk! You are drunk!
Drunk disheveled middle aged woman, leaning against car: Don't you ever call my mother on Mother's Day again.

–Washington Heights

Overheard by: Tess