Wednesday One-Liners' Cups Runneth Over

Thug on phone: Yo, man, you know that bitch I rent my room from? Those titties are triple F or some shit, man! (pause) How do I know that? Cause I looked through her drawers, that's how! (pause) Cause whenever I talk to that bitch, those things are in my face! I had to find out!

–17th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: redshikari

Dude: I have barometric boobies!

–Jujutsu Class, 13th & 7th

Overheard by: Ladle

Dude to friend: Dude, sometimes you just have to say no to boobs.

–St. Mark's Chipotle

College student: Those tits in that shirt look awful… I wanna see cleavage, not leverage.

–Columbia University

Suit on cell: You should get paid more because of how big your boobs are!

–74th & 3rd

Overheard by: Joanna L.

Posted on August 13, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Classroom, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Friends, Guys, Jobs & Careers, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nipples, On Cell, Physical appearance, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Students, Suits, Thugs, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Weirdness, West Village, Words

An Epidemic Of Wednesday One-Liners

Middle-aged white guy to younger black woman: Just leave them a message that's like "I woke up from my coma, don't worry. Not that you were worried anyway."

–Nederlander Theater

Overheard by: julia

Girl to friend: Everything was fine until I found out about the warts.

–Broadway & Waverly

Man to friends: All I know is that I was leaving town the next day, so I told her to take some Pepto-Bismol or Robitussin or whatever because I was gettin' some that night for sure!

–Bodega, 22nd St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Doug Tischler

Teenage black girl, within a group of friends: Them kids with autism, they be havin' mad skills!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: r. faith

Male yuppie: If she comes back with cold sores, I'll know who to go to.

–San Domenico Restaurant, East 26th St

Girl: Rabies is my biggest enemy.

–Bellerose, Queens

Posted on August 13, 2008
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Medicine, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Penn Station, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Store, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, The Village, Theater, Threats, White People, Yuppies

Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner!

Young mother: Yeah, she still talks like a baby. She still talkin' baby talk. Her favorite word is "bitch."

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Black chick on phone: So I asked that bitch and she said he's gonna be in the Special Olympics in Secaucus.

–33rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Jake

Conductor over PA system: Don't hold the doors, bitches!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Anna

Ghetto boyfriend to ghetto girlfriend: You know… You know that I luh' you, but I just wanna know, why you don't luh' me? Why, bitch, why?!

–Broadway & Canal

Overheard by: Aviva

Man on cell: It was a bad bitch? …a bad bitch?

–37th & Broadway

Girl to friend: …so then the guy turns the fuck around during "Chim chiminey" and just loses his shit on those two old bitches.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Viv

Posted on August 13, 2008
Babies, Black People, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Conductors, Couples, Ghetto Chicks, Girlfriends, Girls, Insults, Love, Moms, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Shoes, Singing, The Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Words

Around the World in Wednesday One-Liners

Dude: Mount Olympus is just, like, one giant trailer park.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Jessica

Guy: People in Vietnam are different than us.

–Park & 24th

Overheard by: Sabrina

Girl to friend: Say something in British, or wherever you're from… Switzerland!

–8th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Larry

Supposedly well-traveled woman: But you know where I want to go next? Buenos Aires! They haven't changed to the Euro yet.

–3rd & B

Hipster: I'm going to punch Uzbekistan.

–West 42nd St

Hipster girl to boyfriend: People like you, you're the reason people die in Mexico!

–18th & 1st

Overheard by: Jessica

Posted on August 6, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Death, Friends, Girlfriends, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hipsters, History & Geography, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Stupidity, The Village, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wishes & desires, Women

They're Calling It the I-man-culate Conception

Excited woman #1: Oh my god, how's your brother?
Excited woman #2: He's doing great, he just gave birth!
Excited woman #1: (shrieking) congratulations!

–29th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: voidoid

Posted on August 3, 2008
Default, Family Ties, Friends, Gender issues, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Weirdness, Women

If You're Sober Enough to Remember All That, It's Time for Stiffer Drinks

(outside bar)
Guy #1: It's your round.
Guy #2: No, it's not! Remember… I bought the first round because Paris Hilton went to jail. Then you bought a round because LeBron James had a kid. Then I bought a round when we figured out that the US Open was in Pennsylvania!
Guy #1: You're right! This round's on me!

–33rd St & 3rd Ave

Posted on August 2, 2008
About Celebrities, Babies, Bars & Clubs, Default, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Prison, Sports, U.S. Geography

The Difference Between Delivery and DiGiorno

Female coworker: I would pay for it.
Male coworker: You are paying for it, they're just not putting it in.

–16th & 5th

Overheard by: Brownsvillegirl

Posted on July 29, 2008
Compare/Contrast, Coworkers, Default, Men, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Women, Words

And I’ve Completely Committed to the Role

ER doctor to bloody man with legs strapped to gurney: So, what’s going on here?
Patient: I’m a drunk.

–Bellevue Emergency Treatment Room

Overheard by: judith currin

Posted on July 28, 2008
Default, Doctors, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Hospitals, Medicine, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

I’m the Hippie Equivalent of Karl Rove

Short shaggy-haired guy: Hahaha, I know, right? (pause) Wait, I don’t get it.
Tall shaggy-haired guy: I don’t get it either, man. I just say stuff.

–3rd Ave b/w 14th & 15th

Posted on July 27, 2008
Default, Guys, Hippies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Words

Where Fox Does Its Recruiting for Moment of Truth

(two guys coming out of the bar bathroom)
Guy #1: I’m taking another shot.
Guy #2: What have you got to lose? Pride? Fuck pride.
Guy #1: You’re right man.

–Bar, 35th & 3rd

Posted on July 25, 2008
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Drinks, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions

Murray Hill and Gramercy