White mom calling seven-year-old girl: Isis, come back over here! Don’t wander off – stay where I can see you!
Black man: Woman, you name me ‘Isis,’ and I wander as far away from you as I can get. I don’t blame that girl. Isis! What kind of name is that for a little white girl? Damn! Now I know white people crazy.
–Central Park
Girl: Hew-ston, we have a problem.
Mom: How-ston, honey. Houston, we have a problem.
–NY Animal Control Center
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
Ghetto girl #1: Yeah, ‘Ashley’ is a popular American name.
Ghetto girl #2: The only girls I know named ‘Ashley’ are skinny white bitches.
Skinny white girl sitting next to them: Uh, that’s my name.
–Downtown 3 train
Hobo: Fuck you, you shits, you fucking assholes. I’m going to fucking kill you! Fuck you! Fuck you bitches! Fuck you and your mothers!
Queer #1: Oh no. No you did not just call me a bitch. You crazy homeless fuck.
Queer # 2: Mhm, get sassy on this bitch. Bitch deserves to be homeless. He should just shut his mouth and keep it movin’.
–Sheridan Square
Drunk southern sailor: Yo! Where can we get some punani? Dave needs to milk it! I have a girlfriend, and he’s got a girlfriend, but I’m throwing that to the wind and getting on it
Sailor #2: No way man, we’re in our whites.
–12th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: cp
Guy: I can’t believe he’s gone. He was such a good man.
Girl: I know, I feel so bad for Susan.
Older woman: I know, poor Susan. He was everything to her.
Older man: I know, what a wonderful guy he was. I remember that party we all went to, he had so much fun. [Whispering to older woman] Who are we here to see again?
–Funeral Home, Queens
Overheard by: Glad I’m not Susan
JAP #1: I hate how he calls himself "Bobby" just to seem more Jewish!
JAP #2: Yeah, why isn’t he comfortable being a Bob?
–Central Park
Man to wife: …and I said, “What are you: a crackhead?!”
Young daughter: What’s a crackhead, Daddy?
Man: It’s someone that slipped and cracked their head.
Strung-out hobo walks by, asking for change.
Man: See, honey. He’s a crackhead.
–E Fordham Rd & Lorillard Pl, the Bronx
Dad: Like Groucho is called Groucho because he’s grouchy, Chico because he’s cheeky.
Son: And Zeppo!
Dad: Yeah, because he’s an idiot.
–8th St & 5th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Joe
