Little boy: Mommy, mommy! Can I get a hot dog please?
Mom: No.
Little boy: Please? Why not?
Mom: Remember that time you drank your pee pee juice?
Little boy: But that was yummy!
–Time Square
Little boy: Mommy, mommy! Can I get a hot dog please?
Mom: No.
Little boy: Please? Why not?
Mom: Remember that time you drank your pee pee juice?
Little boy: But that was yummy!
–Time Square
Creepy dad, cheerfully, to seven-year-old daughter: There's only one Lindsay Lohan!
–Downtown 1 train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Jewish girl to friend: You know how ever since I got my shnoz done people tell me I look like Amy Winehouse?
–116th St & Broadway
Crazy black guy on bus, to no one in particular: Derek Jeter looks just like Robert Deniro, man… Just like him!
–N6 Bus
Overheard by: looks like paris hilton?
Larger reporter: I'm not going to save clothes that fit me before I gained weight in case I lose it. If I lose weight, I'm going to buy some new damn clothes. I don't want to wear stuff from 1987. I'll look stupid, I'll look like Mischa Barton.
–Midtown Office
Overheard by: you wont be mischa's size
Hipster girl to friend: I mean, I really like him… But he thinks River Phoenix is a place.
–East Village
Thug #1: Do you wanna watch The Real World with me?
Thug #2: Who’s on that show?
Thug #3: Just some crazy white people.
–Leon M. Goldstein High School, Brooklyn
Lady over loudspeaker: Would a customer named *Amanda please report to checkout ten. *Amanda, please report to checkout ten.
[Pause of about 45 seconds.]Lady over loudspeaker: *Amanda, please report to checkout ten. You mom is here and her back hurts.
–Pathmark-Atlantic Center Brooklyn
Overheard by: Bart Procacci
Hobo: Let me sit in your lap and belch like a naughty girl!
Young man: Okay, now I’m freaked out.
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: Zed
Headline by: tab
Runners-Up:
· “But That’s Just The Acid. Have A Seat!” – Lalaith
· “But Not Sufficiently So to Decline Your Generous Offer” – andy
· “Dad, Im Getting to Old for That!!” – not again!
· “Go Home, Britney.” – EKC
· “It Sucks to Be New York Santa” – aileen
· “Please Go Back to Humping My Leg.” – Dennis
· “The Fairy God Hobo Can Make All Your Dreams Come True…” – Uulargh of the Prairie
Guy to friends sitting on steps: Anyone want any chips?
(distributes snack chips)
Friend: Hey! What flavor of chips are these? They taste like paint smells!
Guy: Paint chips.
–Union Square
Overheard by: akb427
Lady looking at another woman's Roman sandals: I don't like those Jesus-lookin' sandals!
–The Village
Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?
–9th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Matt Morgan
Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee's Big Adventure, after he loses his bike and everyone around him is riding bicycles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.
–14th & 1st
Overheard by: Heather
(trendy, skinny, Upper West Side woman on sidewalk is staring down at her feet and looking concerned)
Preppy 30-something boyfriend: I think your toes look better in those sandals.
–86th & Broadway
Overheard by: Sushene
Girl: My uncle is gay, like, flying-out-of-his-loafers gay.
–W 67th & Broadway
Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com
Female cop to two male cops: So he's standing there, really well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sudden he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) boner, and says "Give me the shoes!"
–Continental Ave Station, Forest Hills
Bleach-blonde: I would totally vote for McCain if Miley Cyrus were his running mate.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Democrat
Woman: Oh, I am definitely a single-issue voter. And right now, that issue is: Which one of the candidates can get me to a bathroom soonest?
–7th Avenue, Park Slope
Overheard by: Chuckell
Drunk hobo to a group of pigeons: And they’re all Democrats. Can’t trust them Democrats.
–Washington Square Park
Young African American woman speaking animatedly on cell: … Vice president? Why should I run for Vice President, I’m doing better than you, bitch! "Dream ticket!" That’s why I hate white liberals. They don’t know when they’re fucked up. Republicans don’t give a shit about you, but they know it.
–124th St, Harlem
Drunk wheelbo, shouting across the entire ferry terminal: Hillary, Hillary, she’s our man! If she can’t do it, no one can!
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Lady on cell: When you done turn Governor, you can’t play dat shit…
–Associated Supermarket, Myrtle Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: PdQ
Woman in store: Let me get a bacon and cheese on a roll.
Deli guy: Okay, bacon egg and cheese on a roll.
Woman: No eggs! I have high cholesterol, I'm trying to stay away from that… Just bacon and cheese on a roll, and put some mayonnaise on it. (mutters under her breath) Pshhh, eggs, you tryin to kill me with high cholesterol.
–Lafayette Ave & Broadway
Tourist woman: I am waiting until the sign says “walk”!
10-year old: Lady, then you're going to be here for a while.
Tourist woman: I don't want to cross by myself.
10-year old: Uh. I'll cross with you.
–Greene St
