Little blond boy pointing to graffiti on bus seat: What does that say?
Mom: I don’t know… It was written by someone with really bad handwriting.
–72nd Crosstown bus
Little blond boy pointing to graffiti on bus seat: What does that say?
Mom: I don’t know… It was written by someone with really bad handwriting.
–72nd Crosstown bus
Guy #1: Hey… Ummm, by any chance did you get some sort of invitation in the mail from Jerry and Marcia?
Guy #2: I know! Who the fuck gets their 13-year-old circumcised in front of public masses like that?
–14th & 7th
Latina chick to two friends: Fucking bitch whore keeps calling me!
Friend #1: Don't answa! Don't answa!
Friend #2: She's a bitch.
Latina chick: Don't call my motha a bitch, you twat.
–14th St & Ave A
10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer.
–Tenement Museum
Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy
Little kid: Hey, mom! Check it out! (chokes himself with own hands)
Mom: Oh, don't do that, honey, you'll damage your brain!
–State St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ben
Eight-year-old to dad: Give me another acting exercise!
Dad: Try acting not weird.
–46th St b/w 8th & 9th
Overheard by: Serena
Guy: It's like August: Osage County, but with zombies.
–Manhattan Theatre Source
Overheard by: Emily B.
Girl: You know what they say: two in the bush, one in the wizard.
–Dorm, Pratt Institute
College student: Ghosts? They're like VT!
–186th St & Amsterdam
Black female suit on cell: Yeah, well you betta hope Tinkabell comes along… Or whoever the fuck it is who grants you ya damn wishes!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: emily d.
Annoyed man on cell walking down stairs: No, mom, I don't know what werewolves eat! No, mom, I don't! Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm going into the subway!
–Union Square Subway Entrance
Overheard by: Masked Avenger
Guy: Hey, Liz! Whatever happens, don’t turn out like my mom.
–Quantum Leap, Thompson St.
Man on cell: It's a swollen, pus-filled sebaceous cyst…
–Nathan's, West 32nd St
Overheard by: SuzeV
Chick leaving Duane Reade (exposing armpit): Air it out baby, air it out!
–Duane Reade, 14th & 1st
Overheard by: Lillian
Guy to friends: I'm just gonna rub my shit all over her face. All over!
–96th and Broadway
Fat girl on cell: Oh my god, seriously. My mom is *so* nasty whenever we go out to eat somewhere. I'm not kidding. Like, she is *never* happy where we get seated, and she's like, "This silverware is smudgy! This glass has grit in it! The lighting is awful! The tectonic plates of this location are shifting, I demand a patio table!" I try to be as nice as I can to the wait staff to make up for her. Seriously. I've seen waiting. Please don't shave your asscrack hair into my food because my mom was a douchenozzle.
–jet blue terminal, jfk
Overheard by: now questioning my pizza ingredients
Girl on cell: Yeah, you pretty much have the same body functions when you're dead as when you're alive. It's gross, but I love it.
–Mercer b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: Threw up in my mouth a little bit
Drunk middle aged man, grabbing wife's shoulder: Watch this! Nine months from tonight! Count it, people! She's going to have a motherfucking baby! Nine months! Niiiiiine months!
–E 9th St & University Place
Overheard by: NYUTSOA2012
Tween to grandmother: There's this girl in my class at school who had a baby around Halloween, and she named it Starlight. It's a baby girl.
–F Train
Overheard by: office peon
Hysterical teen: If I had nine months left to live I would have his baby!
–Gee Whiz, Tribeca
Train conductor: Stand clear of the closing doors! Especially if you got a baby and a baby carriage!
–Uptown 2 Train
Attractive brunette: There were dead babies in the tree. Like Christmas ornaments.
–96th & Broadway
