Wednesday One-Loiners

Drunk jock: She left cuz she said she was hungry. Well, I'll put that fuckin' falafel on my dick!

–LaGuardia & W 4th

Overheard by: Not drunk

College guy to no one in particular: She was trying to suck my dick! …so I slapped her with it!

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Kate V.

Woman to man: See, I don't have a dick, I have a pussy, but I told him to suck my dick.

–South Park Slope

Drunk guy outside subway entrance: Racism can go suck a dick! I don't care who you are, if you're racist, I. Will. Fight. You.

–Central Park Entrance

Overheard by: HAIR-y

Woman to another: I never had to dress up my vagina to get a dick. An old man would have had me pinned against a wall in a second.

–Century 21 Store

Girl on cell: Yeah, well, you know what his defense was? (pause) Yeah, he tried to tell the judge he couldn't have done it because his dick was too huge. (pause) I know! And it gets better! He wanted to make a plaster of Paris mold of his dick to prove it was too big! (pause) Oh, I'm serious. (pause) Yeah, no…I don't know what he was going to do with the mold of his dick. Maybe he was gonna submit it as Exhibit A or something, and shove it up in her to prove his point.

–Penn Station

Posted on July 14, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, BJs, Central Park, Crime and Punishment, Drunks, Ethnic Food, Frat Boys, Girls, Guys, Height, Insults, Jocks, Men, On Cell, Park Slope, Penis, Penn Station, Port Authority, Race, Sex, Store, The Village, Vagina, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Not as Gay as Their Lame Material

Comedy Club guy: Hey, do you girls want to come to a great comedy show?
Girl: No thanks.
Comedy Club guy: Oh, no, not with me. I’m gay.

–Penn Station

Posted on July 12, 2015
Comedians, Gays and Lesbians, Penn Station

Harry Potter Books!

20-something girl to mom: If I had a million dollars, I would spend 90% of my time watching tv, or doing nothing, like playing on the computer.
Mom: See? That is the type of attitude we need to talk about, you should want something!
20-something girl: Okay, I will read books.
Mom: (sighs)

–Penn Station

Overheard by: amazed by ignorance

Posted on July 3, 2015
Books & Writing, Computer, Girls, Moms, Money & Class, Parents, Penn Station, Time, TV, Wishes & desires

It’s Got an Overheard in New York Quote!

Hawker lady: Read all about it! AM New York! Read all about it — AM New York dot com!
Hawker guy, quietly to passersby: Don’t read that shit. They make shit up. Here, have a Metro.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: go rangers!

Posted on July 1, 2015
Advice, Compare/Contrast, Default, News, Penn Station, Vendors & Street Performers

I Recommend You Go South for the Winter

Hobo: Yo man, it’s freezing outside! Can I get a shirt?
Teenager with suitcase: No, go away.
Hobo: Come on man, you probably got like ten shirts in there.
Teenager with suitcase: Listen to me bum, you’re already wearing ten shirts, you’re not getting a shirt.
Bum: My name’s Max.
Teenager with suitcase: I’m Peter.

–Penn Station

Posted on June 29, 2015
Clothing, Default, Hobos, Names, Offers and requests, Penn Station, Sensory Experiences, Teens, Weather

…Being Totally Confused About “Scratch 'n Sniff”

Suit #1: So I don't get it: if he got her a card, why is she mad.
Suit #2: (muffled reply)
Suit #1: He did what?
Suit #2: She was getting ready to go out and he lodged the card in the crack of her ass…

–Pen Station

Posted on June 25, 2015
Anger Management, Ass, Penn Station, Questions, Suits, Weirdness

Who Wednesday One-Linered Mr. Burns?

Black 30-something man: And she said, "Nigga, you wanna fuck mah titties wit a gun?"

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Amanda R.

10-year-old boy, very loudly, to 10-year-old girl: Oh, yeah, well…how many guns have you ever held?

–5 Train

Middle aged white man in shorts: Anyone awake at 2 am should be shot!

–LIRR

Overheard by: L.C.

Street performer, trying to move crowd: Okay, let's try this! White people, we are not dangerous! (lifts shirt, pats down sides) We are unarmed! Step closer!

–W 45th & 5th

Man on phone: Right. Right. Wait, what? (in shock) He don't got a gun? Well, he has to have a gun! What kinda game do you think this is?

–J Train

Army dude to friends: People shoot at me every once in awhile. Do I get tipped? No, fuck tips!

–Havanna's Bar

Posted on June 23, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Friends, Guys, Insults, Kids, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Questions, Race, Rack, Sex, Shoot, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Time, Trains Not Subway, Vendors & Street Performers, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People

Darwin: “See?”

Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'?
(friend points to cars)
Girl: Oh.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: erkala

Posted on June 11, 2015
Cars and Driving, Ghetto Chicks, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, Stupidity

Think I Know How This One Ends…

50-something woman: Do you have baked goods?
Girl with empty wicker basket: Excuse me?
50-something woman: Baked goods. Where are you going with them?
Girl with empty wicker basket (slowly looking into basket and then back at woman): To grandmother's house.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Little Red Riding Ho