Wednesday One-Liners Put Their Jammies on

Intoxicated girl to another: So, I went into Sleepy's the other day… Apparently, you're not allowed to sleep in there.

–Belle Harbor, Queens

Overheard by: redxdress

Woman coming out of bathroom stall (yawning and stretching): Wow, I just had the most amazing nap!

–Madison Ave

Overheard by: I<3Auditors Girl to friends: I slept over at Natalie's, and I was really drunk and had taken sleeping pills…

–Staten Island Ferry

Salesgirl to no one in particular: I had the best dream about Aids last night…

–Beacon's Closet, Williamsburg

Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis

Man on phone: Man, sometimes when I be wakin' up, my body be like "Alright, let's do this!" Then a few minutes later it be like: "Naaaah, fuck it!"

–Union Square

Overheard by: Stepheb

Father to five-year-old son as man in gladiator costume walks by the day after Halloween: That man had a sleepover last night.

–23rd & 3rd

Overheard by: We were all thinking it

Posted on December 3, 2008
AIDS, All Wednesday One-Liners, Celebrations/Parties, Dads, Dreams, Drinking & Drunk People, Ferry, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Queens, Staten Island Ferry, Store, Street, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Go Bump in the Night

College girl looking for a costume: I want to be a bumblebee–but not a slutty bumblebee!

–Ricky's, Near Columbia

Overheard by: M

Suit on cell: Just put a paper bag over your head and you can be that guy! You're the paper bag guy!

–Sheepshead Bay Road (on Halloween)

Young child to mother, after walking by a large group of people in zombie make-up: Mommy, that homeless man said he wanted to eat brains!

–St. Mark's Place

Overheard by: Blair

Girl in Supergirl costume, yelling on cell: I'm so sick of walking. (pause) I said I'm fucking sick of walking! (pause) I'm just dressed like Supergirl, you asshole, I can't *actually* fly!

–E 20th, Stuyvesant Town

Loud young Latina on Halloween: I wanted to be a hooker today, but I couldn't afford the costume.

–Troutman & Knickerbocker, Bushwick

Girl to another (dressed as Wilma Flintstone the morning after Halloween): Man, the Halloween walk of shame is the worst!

–33rd & 3rd

Posted on December 3, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Clothing, Columbia University, Girls, Homeless, Insults, Kids, Latinos, Lower East Side, Moms, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On Cell, Physical appearance, Prostitution, Store, Street, Students, Stupidity, Stuyvesant Town, Suits, Threats, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Coming Soon to Reality TV: Homicide or Furry Ride?

JAP #1: Oh my god, did you hear about what Aaron wrote on Brittany's Facebook wall?
JAP #2: Oh my god, yeah, that's like, disgusting. Like, she looks like a fucking koala.
JAP #1: Totally. Like, who wants to date a tree climbing marsupial?
JAP #2: Fuck no! I'd rather kill my brother!

–Saks Fifth Avenue

Posted on November 29, 2008
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Dating, Facebook, Family Ties, Gossip, JAPs, Physical appearance, Questions, Store, Weirdness

Every New Yorker Should Have One Of Those

50-something man (picking up small box): Look at this! You could put your dope in this!
Wife: You wouldn't be able to fit very much dope in there…I could use it to hold my bitterness.

–Store, Crosby St

Posted on November 29, 2008
Couples, Drugs, Store, Weirdness

Come Back When I've Grown This Out and I'll See What I Can Do

Customer holding $300 worth of lighting equipment: You know, if you want to give me a discount that would be totally fine with me.
Only non-hasidic employee in sight: Sorry sir, its not my store…I don't even have the right haircut.

–BH Photo

Posted on November 28, 2008
Customers, Hair, Money & Class, Physical appearance, Shiksas (& other Gentiles), Store

Hershey's Wednesday One-Liners

Drunken guy to stoned guy: I would kiss you, but you might remember.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Lo

Girl: And so he's like, "I kissed you on the mouth last night", and I'm like "oh really? I didn't know."

–Prospect Park

Overheard by: jaytro

Dude on cell: Yeah, bro, leave it to me. I decide to cheat on my wife and I end with some stupid whore who wants to play kissie-face in a fucking Newark parking lot.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: AdHoculi

Cute girl approaches frat boy at bar: I was going to pretend I don't know you, but I do know you, and now I think I want to kiss you. Is that okay?

–Clinton & Montague, Brooklyn Heights

Latina girl on cell: Well, my cousin died two years ago, right, and on the one-year anniversary that's when I kissed him.

–Outside Victoria Fashions, 116th & 3rd

Overheard by: Chuckles

Older German woman with accent: So when she was little she used to take a bunch of sleeping pills and lay on the floor, and she wouldn't get up until someone kissed her! It was so cute!

–1 Train

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on November 26, 2008
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Columbia University, Death, Drunks, Family Ties, Foreigners, Frat Boys, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, Infidelity, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Latinos, Marriage, Old People, On Cell, Parks, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Stoners, Store, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

And Removed Them for That Video

Teen girl holding up lacy thong to friend: Yo! Anita! Get dis one!
Friend: Nah. I already got those! Remember? I wore them for those pictures.

–Strawberry, Union Square

Posted on November 21, 2008
Clothing, Friends, Girls, Physical appearance, Pictures, Store, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Just Blow Your Nose in an iBook

Teen guy #1: Excuse me, do you have a tissue?
Teen guy #2: Sorry, no.
Teen guy #1: Fuck you.

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

Posted on November 6, 2008
Insults, Offers and requests, Store, Teens

Maybe Gold-Nugget Nipple Rings Were a Poor Choice?

Well-endowed woman: Is this one of those fancy uplift bras?
Salesperson: Yes, ma'am, it is.
Well-endowed woman: All right, but if I get home and my titties still sag I'm gonna be mad at you!

–Victoria's Secret