Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
Small child #1: Look, they got toys out already and the movie isn't even out yet!
Small child #2: Yo, that's crazy gay!
–Toys R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Tim
Mother: What's the name of the play?
Daughter: The Misanthrope.
Mother: How do you spell that?
Daughter: It's with an “e”
Mother: That doesn't help me.
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: John Blaze
Homeless guy, giving umbrella to random white girl: This is for you. In case it rains. This (holding up alcohol bottle) is for me. You know why? Because I'm an alcoholic.
–Penn Station
Man to friend, about the Bruce Springsteen concert that night: You know what? If it starts raining, I'm just going to take off my shirt and scream the whole time.
–Penn Station
Girl: We're on an island, it doesn't snow here.
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ang
Vendor: Man, I know why we're having to pee so much! It's because it's colder and our bladders are shrinking.
–Flea Market, 82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: EthanK
Woman yelling to complete stranger: It's not raining anymore! It stopped raining! You're the only one with an umbrella!
–Port Authority
Girl on cell: My ex-boyfriend used to call the subway "The MTA," and I was like, "Yeah…this isn't working out."
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I would've dumped him too
Teenager on cell: If, hypothetically, what we had been doing was dating, then technically, hypothetically, he just broke up with me. Fucking douche.
–Finacial District
Cute girl: Don't you know the rules of break-ups? You have to clean out the drawer. You can't bring old lube to a new relationship.
–Essex & Grand
Overheard by: yaletownkid
Guy to friend: So you're telling me that I broke up with her because of lube?
–Park Slope
Guy on cell: Look, I know I said "forever." It's not your fault! To be honest, I just never really liked you that much!
–West 4th St. Subway Entrance
Preppy boy: That was the worst part about breaking up with my ex-girlfriend. She got a 50% discount at Polo!
–Bloomingdale's
Girl: So yeah, that was the most interesting lesbian relationship I've ever had, but she left me for her old science teacher. At least you know where you stand with guys. (sighs)
–Macy's
Overheard by: Nathan
Suit nearing retirement, to his department: Did you ever think that Hilary Clinton just has to be a lesbian?
–Office, Midtown West
Man: I noticed I get checked out the most by women when I'm with a woman, so I started hanging around with lesbians and now we pick up women together.
–1 Train
Hobo, to no one in particular: I'm not a thespian, I'm a lesbian. From Hoboken.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Eric
Crazy hobo: Hillary invented the lesbian vote. There was no lesbian vote before Hillary, she created it! Thirty million lesbians all lined up to vote, and you know what you have to do to get the lesbian vote? You've gotta squeeze it. You have to squeeze the lesbian. How do you get orange juice? You squeeze it! You gotta squeeze the lesbian to get the vote!
–E Train
Overheard by: an unsqueezed lesbian
Angry woman on cell: No, I'm not doing the lesbian thing tonight. No. I'll be home soon.
–Outside Lesbian Bar, Hudson St
Overheard by: lady
Guy, running into store: Yo, you guys got baby hats?
Store guy (baffled, in thick accent): Baby hats?
Guy: Baby hats. Baby hats!
Store guy: No, we don't carry those.
Guy (appalled): Shit! You don't got no baby hats?
–99 Cent Store, Fort Greene
Overheard by: toto
Toy soldier guarding FAO Schwarz: The store is now closed. No exceptions.
Man wearing pants that could only be European: But meester, we are from eetaly!
–FAO Schwarz
Overheard by: magical-newyork.blogspot.com
Woman to security guard: Excuse me, did you see a man with a really large package? I'm looking for a man with a large package. Did he come by yet?
–51st St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Rob
LIRR worker, yelling over tracks to another who is carrying huge bolt fastener: Hey! Nice nuts!
–Woodside Station
Overheard by: Jobee
Lab instructor, showing students how to breathe carbon dioxide by blowing into the test tube through a straw: Don't blow too hard, or else the whole thing will come up all over your face.
–Biology Lab, Hunter College
Overheard by: did anyone else catch that?
Very old woman to decorative hardware salesman: It's become such a problem–I just can't seem to keep my knobs tight anymore!
–Gracious Home, 67th St & Broadway
Mother waiting for kid in the bathroom: Billy, will you stop singing and just come?
–Waiting Room, Grand Central
Woman to two male companions: I've fornicated lots of times, and I've never been arrested!
–A Train, Grand Central
Guy handing out tickets: Comedy club tickets, tickets tickets, get drunk and possibly arrested!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Chadwick
50-something on cell: I was watching America's Most Wanted last night to see if I could see…our boy!
–DeKalb & Cumberland, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lea
Grungy guy, carrying a slice and a bottled drink: I don't believe in putting off till tomorrow what I can do today…because tomorrow I might be back in jail.
–Sheridan Square
Overheard by: Suze Volchok
Guy on cell: It's always comforting when I imagine people I don't like being anally raped in prison.
–Prince & Sullivan
Bus driver: The next stop is QCC. Queens Correctional Cen…I mean, Queens Community College.
–Q27 Bus
Overheard by: hey! i go there …
Female tv & radio producer: I don't understand how women can have kids today when there are Blackberries.
–Bloomberg
Overheard by: Yalie09
Man to woman at bar: That's the beauty of freezers!
–Bar, 13th St
Woman, to nobody in particular: Excuse me, but does anyone know how to use a Blackberry? I just got it today.
–Long Island Railroad
Girl on cell: It's not my fault, it's the technology.
–W Houston & Hudson St
14-year-old boy to mother: She spends hers on books, markers; on beads for her hair; I spent mine on this PDA to organize my life!
–F Train
Overheard by: ap.scigaj
