Guy holding unlit cigarette: Hey, got a light?
Woman exiting building: You're standing outside a cancer hospital, asshole.
–York Ave & E 67th St
Overheard by: quitalongtimeago
Guy holding unlit cigarette: Hey, got a light?
Woman exiting building: You're standing outside a cancer hospital, asshole.
–York Ave & E 67th St
Overheard by: quitalongtimeago
Girl: Excuse me, do you know if there's a Bed Bath & Beyond around here?
Confused doorman: Bloody bed and be what?
–47th & 2nd, Dag Hammerskjold Towers
Overheard by: Doug Stone
Drunk man: I'm sitting between a homeless man and a hipster!
Supposed homeless man: I'm the hipster, right?
–L Train
Overheard by: Raine, Michelle, Pamela, Carrie, Lauren
Hobo: You got any spare change? (man keeps walking) How about 10 dollars?
–10th St & Broadway
Drunk old man: Ain't nothing wrong with hot butt naked sex! Ain't nothing wrong with it, am I right?
Passing teen girl: Nothing!
–10th & Ave B
Overheard by: In Agreement
Homeless guy, giving umbrella to random white girl: This is for you. In case it rains. This (holding up alcohol bottle) is for me. You know why? Because I'm an alcoholic.
–Penn Station
Man to friend, about the Bruce Springsteen concert that night: You know what? If it starts raining, I'm just going to take off my shirt and scream the whole time.
–Penn Station
Girl: We're on an island, it doesn't snow here.
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ang
Vendor: Man, I know why we're having to pee so much! It's because it's colder and our bladders are shrinking.
–Flea Market, 82nd & Columbus
Overheard by: EthanK
Woman yelling to complete stranger: It's not raining anymore! It stopped raining! You're the only one with an umbrella!
–Port Authority
Disrespectful dude: We don't respect our old people here. Just makes more sense.
–Penn Station
Boisterous, deep voiced, West Indian woman: Miss, if you want respect, you must give respect! (pause) What the fuck are you gonna do about it? (pause) Miss, we will fight and we will die on this bus!
–Bus, Church Ave
Overheard by: Dena C.
Conductor: Please step away from the doors. (pause) I'm asking you in a nice way to please step away from the doors. (pause) If you do it out of respect for me, or, um, I guess, you don't have to, but at least respect the other passengers.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Vivi
Guy: Yeah, I would never fart in her face, that's disrespectful.
–Madison Sqaure Garden
Overheard by: adelynn
Emphatic bakery delivery man to store manager: You guys don't respect my bread.
–46th St & 43rd Ave, Queens
Overheard by: Anna Rose
Guy on cell: I lost all respect for her after she fucked the ice cream man.
–Dust Bowl, Central Park
Overheard by: Jay Softe
Guy drinking wine: Coming to work wasted is frowned upon, but also lovingly embraced.
–Tartine, West Village
Fake bag hawker to woman in suit with briefcase: Can I get a job, miss? Are you hiring, miss?
–Canal St
Suit: When I die, don't go to my funeral, just go to work.
–33rd St &3rd Ave
Crazy girl on cell: All I know is that I need a really fucking good job with no fucking drug test.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Sam Fez
Weird guy to girl: I mean, I come home from work not feeling sexy at all. (subway car screeches) It's not exactly the most testosterone-filled job there is. (car screeches loudly again, then guy starts using hand motions) I have no idea how to get in the mood again!
–6 Train
Overheard by: fresca
Boss to peon: And grab Mary. (pause) Gently.
–Broadway
Young JAP: So I heard they were doing anal at this party and he hit this nerve in her ass, and she started shitting all over her mom's bed.
Random guy, muttering: That's soooooo hot.
–1 Train
Overheard by: ugh
Black guy in suit to stranger at same table: Oh, so you're married! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize.
White guy in suit: Oh, no worries, it doesn't mean I'm dead or anything.
Black suit: Are you faithful?
White suit (pausing for a couple of seconds): Sometimes.
–Starbucks, 23rd & 8th
Overheard by: Joe
