Busker with jackhammer vibrato: Some say looooooooove it is a huuuuuuuuuuuuunger…
Suit: I'm going to chew off my cortex.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Busker with jackhammer vibrato: Some say looooooooove it is a huuuuuuuuuuuuunger…
Suit: I'm going to chew off my cortex.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Frustrated looking suit: Okay, well, how about the duck? It looks good.
Vapid looking hottie: I told you! I do not eat seafood!
–Gramercy Tavern, Union Square
Conductor: Please stop holding my doors open in the back! (pause, no change) Stop pushing open my doors in the back! (pause, no change) Hey, I don't want no more people squeezing through my openings in the back, okay?
–Q Train
Overexcited tourist dad to little girls: Alright, Jade*, blow the bubbles towards Leah*. Yes, towards her, like facing each other, so I can take a picture… When I tell you, okay? Perfect. Okay, now blow each other.
–Liberty Park
Suit: Well, it's not very large by adult standards, but it's big for what it is.
–Queens
Male office worker: My drawers are getting tight already.
–Broadway
Old woman: Would you like to give a donation to help feed our pussies?
–PETCO, Union Square
Overheard by: Lex
Suit: Hey, who has the best pizza, you or the guy down the block?
Pizzeria owner: Fuck you!
Suit: I’ll have two slices, please.
–Near Orchard & Houston
Conductor (in stern voice): For the last time, people, when the lights are blinking, that does not mean continue walking on the platform! The train will leave without you!
Suit: She must have children.
–Metro North, Grand Central
Overheard by: Fresca
Suit #1: So, when are you meeting him downtown?
Suit #2: I don’t know. It depends on when he gets done having sex with Gabrielle.
Suit #1: That doesn’t sound too bad!
–32nd St
Guy in suit #1: Damn, you know who is hot? Megan Fox. It's her attitude too. I mean, you know there is no way you could ever keep up with her.
Guy in suit #2: Bet that dude she's fucking from 90210 can't keep up.
Guy in suit #3: I was always a fan of Brenda.
Guy in suit #2: Really, I was more of Kelly.
Guy in suit #1: What the fuck?!
–86th St b/w 2nd & 3rd
Overheard by: 90s Nostalgia
Crazy man: Now, you probably don’t know this, but most of y’all have diabetes.
–1 train
Overheard by: bildita
Tall, skinny suit to lady suit: … What’s your sick policy? I was like, ‘Stay the fuck away from me, and don’t get me sick — that’s our sick policy!’
–13th & University
Overheard by: Dave D
Chick: I’da killed him if it wasn’t for that damn leukemia.
–9th & Smith St station
Dude: Can you get carpel tunnel of the butt?
–17th & 6th
Girl on cell: I’m like a virus. I never go away. I go away for a little bit, and you think you’re clear, and then I come back and take over your body.
–33rd & 30th, Astoria
Overheard by: brigid
Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.
–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street
Overheard by: pb dot c
Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that.
–39th & Lex
Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!”
–Whitehall Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: Steven Lowell
Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey?
–Museum of Natural History
Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s.
–19th & 6th
Overheard by: CocteauBoy
5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here?
–59th between Broadway & 7th
Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub
Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much.
–American Wing Cafe, the Met
Overheard by: guingel
MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick.
–Bleecker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Brewster
Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you.
–Houston & Bowery
Overheard by: Jon A.
Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jon
Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will.
–53rd & Broadway
Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat.
–10th St & 1st Ave
Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop.
–Q101 bus
Overheard by: Kaleena
Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus.
–14th St 1 station
Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard!
–59th & 7th
Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.”
–The Strand, Broadway
Overheard by: Miss Parker
