Young chick #1: They got married really young.
Young chick #2: And he never matured?
Young chick #1: No, and she just got tired of waiting for him to grow up, so they got divorced when she was like 21.
–73rd & Broadway
Young chick #1: They got married really young.
Young chick #2: And he never matured?
Young chick #1: No, and she just got tired of waiting for him to grow up, so they got divorced when she was like 21.
–73rd & Broadway
Teenage boy #1: Yeah, he's gay.
Teenage boy #2: I don't know, he's always hanging out with girls.
Teenage boy #3: Gay guys always hang out with girls! I don't get it! What's in it for them?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Teen #1: I was just talking to a girl in the bathroom… She was wearing a horrible shirt.
Teen #2: What did you say to her?
Teen #1: I said her shirt was nice.
–W 32nd St
Overheard by: NG
Teenage boy: So I went to a Cher concert…
Teenage girl: What?
Teenage boy: Cher.
Teenage girl: Cher?
Teenage boy: Cher. The singer.
Teenage girl: Who?
Teenage boy: You don't know Cher? Damn, girl, you have no history. You have no childhood. (pause) So I went to a Cher concert. And she came out and looked all hot. “How many of you ladies have been hurt by a man?” (imitates the roar of the crowd) “Aaaaaaahhhh!” She cock-blocked the whole place.
–6 Train
Annoying teenage girl: Hop off my dick, hop off my dick!
Teenage boy: You don't have a dick.
Annoying teenage girl: You don't need a dick to say you have one.
–4 Train
Overheard by: Emm
Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.
–49th St and 7th Ave Station
Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!
–Union Square
Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)
–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater
Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)
–95th St & Madison
Overheard by: Confused
Man to woman on lunch date: Pussy makes the world go round. When you're 85, dyin', you don't want to regret it if you never got to stick your head up there, or whatever. You wanna die sated.
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: Christine
Man, as two women approach: Vagiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiina, vagiiiiiiiiiiiiiinaaaaaaa!
–Washington Square
Overheard by: Joe
Hipster on cell: I don't even know you! I do not want to see your vagina.
–Park Ave & 22nd St
Overheard by: Sophia
Suit on cell: I'm gonna cut off her cunt and make her wear it as a hat!
–Times Square
Teenager to friend: That girl has a Stargate vagina. You put it in and, bam, a kid pops out!
–Catherine St & Madison St
Girl at speed dating event: …like my vagina!
–Watering Hole, E 19th St
Teen girl on cell: Are you kidding, mom? Google shapes everyone's lives, whether they like it or not. You google everything.
–W 28th St
20-something-girl: He has liked every status I put up since Wednesday. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I was like, "stop peeing all over my Facebook page!"
–42St & 2nd Ave
NYU student on cell: Honestly, that blog was the most profound thing I've ever written.
–Mercer & W 4th
Overheard by: Bloggers have depth too
40-year-old woman dressed as 16-year-old, on cell: Samantha, just go on Facebook and text him already. (pause) Of course you can do that, everyone does it.
–Outside Five Guys Burgers
Girl to boyfriend: Two years ago I saw your penis under a bright blue light. And it was small.
–Penn Station
Black guy to black friend: Her father does not want his daughter marrying someone from another race. What, is he scared that the kid will come out black and have a big nose? I'll tell you one thing–he'll have a big dick.
–Bowery & 1st St
Overheard by: Zach B
Man to girl beside him: Mine isn't that big. But it's big enough for what I need it for.
–6th Ave & 9th St
Girl to friend: He had a big penis. It scared me.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: s0uthard
Young teenage boy to another: You're telling me you have an 8.5 inch dick and you don't touch it?
–M21 Bus
Overheard by: zaarah
30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?
–23rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: drose
Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.
–Times Square
Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…
–Tisch School of the Arts
Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?
–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea
