Obese 40-something Puerto Rican hoochie in black tube top: Hey, watch where you're going.
Little blonde teen: Sorry. Didn't realize you were late for your episode of “what not to wear.”
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Jekke
Obese 40-something Puerto Rican hoochie in black tube top: Hey, watch where you're going.
Little blonde teen: Sorry. Didn't realize you were late for your episode of “what not to wear.”
–Bleecker & Broadway
Overheard by: Jekke
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Man #1, pointing to hobo with Down's Syndrome: Hey, that's that one guy from that tv show…
Man #2: Who? That bum?
Man #1: Yeah, that's that whatsits–that Corky guy. Y'know, with the mongoloid syndrome.
Man #2: Wow…
–Houston & Varick
Overheard by: Houston Lunch
Girl #1: Wait, how many boobs are usually on three girls?
Girl #2: Six.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: anna
Ghetto chick to friend: Remember when you took that chinchilla from me, back in the day?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Chloe
Grungy dude on cell: So I jumped on my horse and got the fuck outta there.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: bildita
Guy: …and those Egyptians had crocodiles. Those crocodiles that shoot lasers out of their eyes.
–Metropolitian Musuem of Art
Overheard by: Bonkers in Yonkers
Hipster chick: Deer antlers. Everywhere I go, all I see are deer antlers. I’m getting sick of it.
–14th St & 1st Av
Overheard by: Larry
Thug: I’m like super pimp. I pimp men and women… And cats and dogs. Shit, I got the whole animal kingdom.
–10th & Broadway
Composed chick on cell: He’s a giraffe, and I’m a leopard, and I’m never gonna be a giraffe. I’ve tried and tried, but my destiny is as a leopard, you see? I can fake being a giraffe for awhile, but eventually I’m gonna have to rip his throat out and feed on his entrails. It’s in my nature. The only alternative is divorce.
–Billiard Hall, Elizabeth & Bowery
Guy: Snookie is not even Italian. She is Chilean.
Girl: Snookie is a creature of her own. I don't know what she is… She likes pickles.
–7th & 1st
Overheard by: R
Tourist to another: Ummm, we’re on Hew-stin. How do we get to–
Passerby: –Dude, it’s pronounced How-ston, not ‘Hew-stin.’ You better say it right, or someone else who’s not as nice as me will beat you up.
–Houston & Broadway
Conductor: Vomiting is prohibited on this train. Please, no vomiting on this train.
–LIRR
Conductor: There are only three reasons for an empty train car. A) it smells. B) it's hot. C) someone threw up.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Laura
Gay NYU student: I've already been through the cycle. Eat, vom, feel better about life.
–Tisch Hall, NYU
Conductor: There will be no vomiting on this train. Repeat. There will be no vomiting on this train. (short pause) If you have to vomit, vomit on yourself.
–LIRR, Drunk Train
Overheard by: Jason
Girl to two guy friends: Last night I was traveling back on the train, and there was, like, an airsick bag in the thing and I got a craving for Gardetto's, because the last time we were traveling… (becomes inaudible)
–Atlantic & Bond, Boerum Hill
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Boyfriend to wasted girlfriend: Baby, I swear. This is the best place in New York to throw up. (girlfriend pukes)
–MacDougal St, The Village
Overheard by: Reid Rogers
Mom: Honey, you better behave while you stay at Daddy’s house this weekend.
Five-year-old boy: If he doesn’t buy me a new toy, I’m going to slice his sausage open!
–Canal St
Overheard by: Ashley
MTA guy: Let ’em off, let ’em off. It’s just like sex, you gotta get it out to get it in.
–1 train
Overheard by: Andrew Litwin
