Dude #1: Ew, bro, that's incest!
Dude #2, sheepishly: No, it's not…
–W 9th St & 5th Ave
Dude #1: Ew, bro, that's incest!
Dude #2, sheepishly: No, it's not…
–W 9th St & 5th Ave
Chick: Oh my god, my hair is so dark!
Stylist guy: Does it look fake?
Chick: No, I just didn’t know it would be this dark.
Stylist guy: Well, it will look lighter when your hair dries.
Chick: Really?
–Ibiza Hair Salon, 4th Avenue
Overheard by: Kenzi
Stoner #1: I’m drunk. And I am high.
Stoner #2: I know you are. But… what am I?
Both stoners: Whoa.
–Bleecker & Thompson
Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.
–Elevator, 56th & 8th
Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!
–Terminal 5
Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?
–Cafe Esperanto
Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!
–TriBeCa
Overheard by: lalala
Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.
–51st & 3rd
Overheard by: IG
Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.
–4 Train
Overheard by: BQM lady
Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!
–Astor Place
Man #1: Do you believe the crap they have on those sites?
Man #2: These days most sites seem to sell crap only to make money off dumbass readers…
–14th & University Pl
NYU JAP #1: So, like, do you want to go get margaritas tonight?
NYU JAP #2, grimacing: Ugh. I’m, like, still nauseous. If you, like, say ‘margarita’ again, I might throw up.
–University & Waverly
Queer #1: So how is that girlfriend of yours?
Queer #2: What girlfriend?
Queer #1: You know, the one we had the threesome with.
Queer #2: Oh yeah, Constance…oh, she’s crazy.
–Greenwich & Gansevoort
Stylish 20-something woman to overweight pug breathing heavily: Well, Winifred, you're out of breath because you're out of shape. (pause) No, you're not fat. You're voluminous. (pause) Yes, I am aware it's not all your fault. Mummy likes to watch you eat powder doughnuts. (pause) Pugs that look like they have a coke habit are very funny for mummy, yes they are.
–Central Park
Young hipster to Labrador, as people approach: Come on! Come on! Say hello! (dog remains seated, doing nothing) God! I've been training him for months to talk to couples and it just isn't working!
–Williamsburg
Woman to her dog: Don't be an insult to your species! Act like a dog!
–10th St & Broadway
Lady to little barking dog: Shut up. This is not your sidewalk.
–Brooklyn
Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian?
–Lexington Ave & 58th
Girl to friend: No, I can't do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case.
–3rd Ave & 80th St
Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face!
–Sephora, 57th & Lexington
Overheard by: Amanda
Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you're doing your nails? Mmmmmm…
–Bleecker & Thompson
Overheard by: Thompson
Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I'm going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch.
–Elevator, Macy's
Overheard by: K Melv
Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi.
–72nd & Central Park West
Overheard by: wb
Young woman: I really want a boyfriend who is mean, who can say that, “I’m gonna kill him” and then looks down at his hand, and that laughs.
Older woman nods.
Young woman: You know, like those villians in movies with that grin, not the crazy ones who laugh but the ones who grin.
–NYU gym locker room
