Female MTA employee: I ain’t seen you in forever! Did you start working nights again?
Male MTA employee: Yeah… It was alright. But then I got bored, so I started watching soap operas again. I can’t believe Tad still looks the same.
Female MTA employee: Shit, you like him?
Male MTA employee: Hell yeah, I’m OG.
–4th Ave & 9th St station
Overheard by: Tacologic
Girl to another, loudly: Oh my god! Where the fuck were you this morning? I was about to text you, but I realized you couldn't text. And I couldn't text either! And you wouldn't pick up your phone! And I needed to talk to you! But I couldn't reach you! So I just like fucking sat there and screamed for ten minutes!
–B9 Bus
20-something male to friend: I am so MIA right now. I am MIA. Like, I text you, but I am MIA. Like, so many people send texts to me, and I'm just MIA.
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: dallas
Girl leaving movie: Well, I'm sure she'll send out a mass text the second she has her baby.
–AMC Theater 19th & Broadway
Overheard by: Julie
20-something to another: Tiffany, I know I left Jason at the altar…but why didn't he text me back?
–1849 Bar, MacDougal & Bleecker
Laughing hobo to another: That is the funniest joke I've ever heard! You have to text that to me!
–St. Mark's Church, 2nd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: cody
Guy #1: I got a letter from Rosalyn & Jimmy Carter.
Guy #2: Oh really? How are they doing?
Guy #1: Good, they want money.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: Carl
Chick on cell: The well of his fuckwaddery springs eternal.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Columbia student: Fuck. Fucking titties! What the fuck? Fucking titties, this is some goddamn bullshit! I really want a snack.
–110th & Broadway
Guy to girl: Are you serious? I'm not fucking creepy, okay? I'm not fucking creepy.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: NYU girl
Man on bicycle, yelling at car: Fuck you! Yeah, use your fucking blinkers, you fuckstick!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Helene and Alice
Guy on cell, in monotone with no pauses: Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, fuck you, I need you, I need you, I need you, bitch. (hangs up)
–M4 Bus
Mysterious liquid falls out of the blue sky and lands on three guys walking together.
Dude #1: What the fuck was that?
Dude #2: It smells like bong water! Dude, that is karma getting back at you, and we’re suffering for it, too.
Dude #3: Yeah, Gabe, from now on you walk 20 paces ahead of us.
–Bleecker
Overheard by: Max
Girl #1: Oh my god! I just heard that Katie Holmes had her baby! Katie Holmes had her baby, everyone!
Girl #2: Xenu commands you to shut the fuck up while I’m on the phone with my dealer.
–6th Avenue & West 4th Street
Overheard by: Robin M.
(cf. When we broke this story.)
Gay guy: Oh fuck, motherfucker!
Female friend: Why must you be so white?
–Bleecker & 7th Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Man #1: That’s the second Korean movie that has ever made me cry.
Man #2: Oh, yeah. Lots of ’em do. I mean, if you see enough of them, a lot of them do.
–12th & University
Overheard by: James
Logic-major girl #1: You’re totally into rich men. Like, I can see you dating a multi-million-dollar dork like Bill Gates.
Logic-major girl #2: I’m not attracted to money. I just like middle-aged men in suits, and you have to be rich to wear a suit. Also, I want someone who can pay for my abortion, because Lord knows I can’t afford it.
–Greenwich Village
Overheard by: I’m not pregnant
Guy: You could try working out.
Girl: I do work out.
Guy: Are you going to take that hip-hop class?
Girl: No.
Guy: I think I’m going to take that hip-hop class just so I can serve you. I’m going to go down there and serve you.
–3rd Avenue & 11th Street
