Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Suit #1: So where are you going on vacation?
Suit #2: St. Bart’s.
Suit #1: Are you staying in a house or at a hotel?
Suit #2: A house. God, I hate hotels. Inevitably there will be one guest that irritates me; I’ll see him around at lunch or something. Then I’ll obsess about it, all vacation long.
Suit #1: Yeah.
–Landmark Gourmet, Pearl Street
Overheard by: freshie
Stewardess lady: If there is a sudden change in cabin pressure, a mask compartment above your seat will open automatically. If this happens, quickly reach for the nearest mask and pull it down firmly. Continue to breathe normally. If you are travelling with a small child, or someone who acts like a small child, please secure your mask and then assist them.
–JFK
Overheard by: Amy
NYU boy #1: Dude, let’s go to Delaware. I’ve never been there — I didn’t even know it was a state until the quarter came out.
NYU boy #2: Oh yeah, you told me that. That was like last week.
NYU boy #1: Yeah, man.
–University & Waverly
Overheard by: a girl who’s ashamed to go to NYU sometimes
Mom: Indiana isn’t a state; I’m not sure it will be on there…Oh.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pierre-François Dubois
Airport security: Sir, we’ve been informed that you are carrying a firearm aboard this plane.
Suit: WHAT?!
Flight attendant: I overheard him say he was going to disassemble his firearm!
Suit: FLY ROD! Disassemble my FLY ROD!
Flight attendant: Oh. Whoops.
–Jet Blue plane, JFK
Guy #1: I had the runs the entire damn flight and some bitch flight attendant tells me to stop going back and forth to the bathroom.
Guy #2: What did she think, you were going to blow up the plane with your explosive diarrhea?
Guy #1: Well, one thing’s for sure: I left that toilet in a hell of a mess!
–JFK Starbucks
Overheard by: Justin Ackman
AirTran flight attendant over intercom: We hope you ladies and gentlemen had a nice flight, and we ask that you all press your faces against the windows so Delta can see what a full flight looks like.
–LaGuardia
Airline employee over loudspeaker: Last call for John Smith* to board flight 1234.
Airline loudspeaker, 10 minutes later: Seriously, last call for John Smith* for flight 1234.
Airline Loudspeaker, 10 more minutes later: Okay, John Smith, you know we love you, but the plane has to take off now!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: Kim
Flight attendant: The captain has advised us that our flying time will be quick, at an altitude of high and a speed of fast.
–JFK airport
Flight attendant: We do encounter bumps between the runway and the gate — that’s not my fault. It’s not even the captain’s fault. It’s the asphalt.
–JFK airport
Flight Attendant: Thank you for flying US Airways, and have a happy… happy… what the hell holiday is this? Columbus? Psssh, that ain’t no holiday. Have a good week!
–LaGuardia Airport
American Airline pilot: Ok guys, we’re just waiting on some United dude to clear our tail so we can push.
–La Guardia Airport – about to take off
Overheard by: So K
Pilot flying into LaGuardia: If you look out the right side of the plane, you can see the beautiful, famous downtown skyline of Manhattan. [Pause.] And if you look out the left side… [pause, sighing] New Jersey.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: mj kiran
Tween girl: It so smells like London out today.
Hippie chick: What does London smell like?
Tween girl: Really damp.
–10th St & Greenwich
Overheard by: Intimidated by children
20-something college student: I saw the movie Australia the other day, and I couldn't understand anything because they all had English accents.
–2 Train
Indian woman with accent, recalling story to husband: So I called up customer service, and right away the woman said "Oh, priti, you must be Indian". I said "No, I am not." I was like "What? Are you kidding me? I call customer service and they put me through to India? Then she said "Have you ever been to India?", I was like "No, I have not, is it nice?"
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Marie Z.
10-year-old girl, emoting mockingly for her minder: And I can see *Russia* from my *house*!
–74th & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Woman on cell: It's okay, I've got a plan. We'll move to Mexico, buy a lemonade stand by buying parts from a guy called Javier, earn some money, then smuggle ourselves and our belongings over the border to America, where no one will know what happened.
–5th Ave
30-something to friend: Apparently all of England's problems can't be solved by strangling an old guy!
–Roosevelt Island
