Friendly young clerk: It’s terrible news about Vonnegut, isn’t it?
Old woman: I think he deserved to be fired! He shouldn’t be saying that racist stuff on the radio!
–Thrift Shop, 23rd & 3rd
Friendly young clerk: It’s terrible news about Vonnegut, isn’t it?
Old woman: I think he deserved to be fired! He shouldn’t be saying that racist stuff on the radio!
–Thrift Shop, 23rd & 3rd
Worker #1: Who would play you? Chris Martin of Coldplay!
Worker #2: Chris Martin? He's not even an actor!
–Papa Lima, Brooklyn
Man, about actress Kristin Chenoweth: You know, she’s only 4 foot 11.
Wife: So that’s why she’s so short!
–Studio 54
Girl: Did you hear about Barbara Walters and the affairs she had when she was younger? It shocked me.
Guy: Why'd it shock you? A lot of these older people did a lot of crazy shit when they were younger, from violence to sex. How do you think at least 50% of us were born? And she looked kinda good then, I'd have done 'er.
Girl (shaking her head): Just about everybody is fucked up.
Guy (growling and laughing): Don't groan about it, it's nature baby. Us people today are just the latest ones on the scene.
–8th St & 6 Ave
Overheard by: savon
Caller: Do you have Pavarotti tickets for 2008?
Customer relations rep: Um… No. You do know he passed away, right?
Caller: Yes, but he’s on the program for 2008.
–New York Philharmonic
NYU girl: So my friend had a class with Mary-Kate–
NYU boy: Uh huh.
NYU girl: –and they were all going around saying what their favorite books were. But when it got to Mary-Kate, she just said, “Well, my favorite candy is a Tootsie Roll.”
–Chipotle, East 8th Street
Overheard by: monsi
Skater thug: Yo, watch where you’re fuckin’ goin’ before I fuck your ass up!
Suit: Shut up, you Kevin Federline-looking punk!
–2/3 train, 42nd St
Overheard by: Tommy Wooh
Hispanic teen chick: Anyone ever tell you you look like Kevin Bacon?
Ethan Hawke: Yeah… Haha… Uhhh…
–Diner, Abingdon Square
Overheard by: Marco Formosa
Drunk guy: I’m dunzo like the girl Kristin from Laguna Beach…I’m drunk like I’m on The Real World.
Sober guy: Yo, don’t throw up in the elevator, man. You should go throw up on that girl’s door that we hate.
–Palladium Residence elevator, East 14th Street
Overheard by: Rachel W.
Chick #1: Well, no, you look better now, but you were never that skinny, I mean, I never looked at you like “she needs a sandwich”, like…
Chick #2: No, but I haven’t gained any weight, really; my clothes still fit.
Chick #1: But you were never grotesque, like what’s her name.
Chick #2: Nicole Ritchie.
Chick #1: Yeah.
–55th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
