Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Guy: …and he had, like, shark teeth! Three fucking rows of them! I swear.
–Fulton & Gold
Waiter: How would you like your eggs?
Guy: Can I get two eggs scrambled, one sunny side up?
Waiter: Um…I…Um…I don’t…
Guy: Whatever. Give me three scrambled eggs. God.
–Ben Ash Delicatessen, 7th Avenue
Guy: God damn it! Where were you? I waited an hour for you to show up! Were you on a coffee break or what?
Bus driver: Sir, that’s not possible, the lead bus was only ten minutes ahead of me. I watched him pull out of the depot.
Guy: Screw you! You guys are the real terrorists! You’re what Homeland Security is trying to protect us against!
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Red haired woman: Damn it, Michael forgot to pack my lunch again. I am so pissed at him! Arrrrgh!
Big boobed woman: Shhh…shhh… Just get lunch at the store.
Red haired woman: Do they got ribs at the store? Do they got ribs at the store, Portia?
Big boobed woman: You could ask. They have pork.
–A Train
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tourist in crowd waiting for crosswalk: [Sneezes.]Suit: Shut the fuck up!
–47th & 6th
Overheard by: dan.j.w.
13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
Loud woman: You said you'd had Hot Pockets!
Quiet woman: No, I…
Loud woman, interrupting: Yes, you did! You told me you had had Hot Pockets!
Quiet woman: I haven't had Hot Pockets in weeks. Not since Evan*'s parents were in town.
Loud woman: You told me you did just days ago! You lie! Li-ar!
Quiet woman: No, I said the reason I had cake for breakfast is that I *ran out* of Hot Pockets!
–6th St & Ave A
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Chris Noth: I talked to her for 10 minutes and figured out she was crazy.
–15th & Irving
Overheard by: Ameha Beyene
Black Bible-thumper: Jesus will save you! Have you been saved? Praise Jesus!
Passerby: Praise Allah!
Black Bible-thumper: Fuck you, motherfucker! Jesus will kick your ass!
–42nd & 8th
Overheard by: The Jewish Asian
Toddler boy: I don’t need to go anymore.
Dad: I just waited in line for ten minutes. You better fart or something.
–Public bathroom, Coney Island
Overheard by: Ronnie Saha
