Girl #1: Ohmigod, how do you do it so fast?
Girl #2: Strong finger.
–34th St
Overheard by: Haley
Girl #1: Ohmigod, how do you do it so fast?
Girl #2: Strong finger.
–34th St
Overheard by: Haley
Girl #1: Anyone want to get a manicure? James?
Gay friend: Ha ha!
Girl #2: My dad gets manicures.
Girl #1: So does mine.
Girl #2: My dad's in sales, so he has to have nice hands.
Girl #1: My dad works at home. In porn!
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Guy: So I was like, “Well, then I'm glad I gave you a black eye after I fucked you!”
Girl: Oh my gosh, are you Jewish?
–49th St & 9th Ave
Overheard by: Natalie
Columbia student to another: When I get rich, I'm totally having the sweat glands in my armpits removed.
–Columbia University
Undergrad to friend: So I should tell you about today's existential crisis…
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Katie Naum
Guy to group of friends: Hey, you guys ever watch that video in health ed, of disabled people having sex? It was upsetting.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: L-Dubbs
Columbia undergrad: I am taking so many classes right now, like 18 credits, cause I have no clue what to do with my life. Part of me wants to go to business school here because I can make a lot of money fast, and part of me wants to go to law school here because it's more practical and will make me more over the long run. But then I am also in this class on genocide, which is a topic I love. So maybe I will do something with that instead.
–Max Cafe, 122nd & Amsterdam Ave
Overheard by: reluctantprof
Mom to friend, as baby makes screeching sounds and bounces around in stroller: I swear I didn't do drugs while I was pregnant with her. But I did have quite a few raspberry martinis before I knew I was knocked up.
–Belmont Park Race Track
20-something woman on phone: I need to slap that bitch. I don't care she pregnant, her face ain't pregnant.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Mike
Ghetto baby momma: And it was like I was giving birth on the toilet!
–Belmont Ave & 188th St
Overheard by: Toomuchinformation
Doctor to patient: You're not pregnant, you just have gas.
–W 204th St
Overheard by: JMS
Little girl on cell: Oh my god, I know! And I'm, like, "that's why you're fucking pregnant"!
–Central Park
Guy #1: Did you fuck her last night?
Guy #2: I fucked that bitch so hard, I broke da bitch's cuntbone!
–Comfort Diner, E 45th St
Burly father to daughter, passing grizzly bears: I have no compassion for stuffed animals.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Tarah
Guy to friend: I'm totally going to try to hook up with a dolphin when I'm in Cozumel.
–St. Mark's & 3rd
Girl: I would love to have sex with a cheetah!
–Bronx High School of Science
Overheard by: urbanadventurer
Girl carrying reindeer head on bicycle rickshaw: It's not a moose head, it's a reindeer!
–4th Ave & 3rd St
Woman on cell: So are you still dating the tortoise man? (pause) So is this a good or bad thing?
–Bergen & Court
Overheard by: Staying away from the herpetarium
Sikh #1: And then I broke my sacrum.
Sikh #2: What's a sacrum?
Sikh #1: My butt bone.
–23rd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: E.S.
Ditzy girl #1: You'll never believe it! I woke up this morning and my fingernails were painted!
Ditzy girl #2: You don't remember painting them in the night?
Ditzy girl #1: Not at all! But I did a really good job.
Ditzy girl #2: Yeah, they look great. Maybe I'll come to your room tonight while you're sleeping.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: amalthya
Guido to another: She actually shaves between sex and shit.
–Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Belladonna Wexhome
Middle-aged Guido: Nobody gives tricks any more, only treats. I remember when I was a kid. I used to get shaving cream in my face.
–78th St & West End
Overheard by: jess_stang
Guy coming out of Beeswax screening: I will not bow to the hegemony of the razor.
–BAM Cinemafest
Girl to friend and boyfriend: I definitely prefer a female gynecologist to a male one. Mine is a really old woman, and she's great! She just says to me, "I am shaving you." My lips are really big!
–E 7th St
Overheard by: Evan
