Old man: I know, I know, that man is a crook.
Older Russian man: A crook! I wish him to die.
Old man: Well, I don't wish death on anyone.
Older Russian man: Bah! I wish you to die. (walks off)
–113th & Broadway
Old man: I know, I know, that man is a crook.
Older Russian man: A crook! I wish him to die.
Old man: Well, I don't wish death on anyone.
Older Russian man: Bah! I wish you to die. (walks off)
–113th & Broadway
Girl to friend: If it weren't for my sister's dog, I wouldn't have to drink during the day.
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Kevin
Gay dude to another: It's so amazing how dogs get all up in there. Like, what if people had to introduce themselves that way? How great would it be if when I met you I had to sniff your ass?
–17th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: BT
Girl on cell: So wait, did Dr Siegel really charge you 150 dollars to chop a pimple off the dog's booty?
–Hart & Irving, Brooklyn
Girl to guy: Ever spend a lot of time with a Shih Tzu?
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Female voice outside my window: And I'm keeping the dog leg–I don't even care what you have to say!
–113th St b/w Broadway & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk freshman #1: Dude, work was awful today. Usually I just sit there and drink, today I had to actually do shit. It was bad.
Drunk freshman #2, earnestly: Yo, that sucks dick, man!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Janine
Collegiate #1: I can't believe that asshole MTA called the cops on us.
Collegiate #2: Seriously, isn't it enough that we risked our lives crossing the subway tracks to get to the other side? Fuck that guy, we wasted $2.00 and then had to take a cab to escape the police.
–Columbia University
College dude in enthusiastic conversation: I would totally be a cat-sniffer.
–113th St & Broadway
Tall man in heavy German accent: What do you mean the cat can't take a poopy because it is too loud?
–2 Train
Overheard by: Anna
Flaky professional girl: I hate when people are like, "hey, look at that dead bird! Hey, look at that dead cat!" because god, I always look first!
–42nd & 6th
Overheard by: amalthya
Girl on cell: Now you need to marry him for the discounted cat food!
–10th st & 1st Ave
Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it.
–116th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sully
Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me!
–89th St
Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Mark
Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively!
–Starbucks
Coed: When my nipple-hairs pop up, that means I'm done.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo to tiny sexy Asian girl wearing tank top on chilly day: Two nipples for a dime?
–9th Ave & 14th St
Cute gay chick on cell: I am aware that it's pride month, but I still like to keep sharp objects away from my nipples. My gay forefathers did not fight at Stonewall so that I might wear body jewelry.
–4th Ave & 11th St, Brooklyn
Mother to little boy: Those are not meant to be shown in public; nipples are private things.
–A Train
Overheard by: g-lime
Crazy guy, yelling: When I see my nipples in the mirror, I look away!
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Zach Rock Steady
Girl: So, yeah. She's campaigning for the creationists now.
Guy: Noooooooo!
–Columbia Campus
Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!
–Public Restroom, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Slydell
Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Kári Emil
Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator
Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.
–Penn Station
Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.
–2 Train
Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Nathan
Dad to daughter: Upper East Side? The East Side is full of snobs. Did they take you there?
Daughter: Yeah.
Dad: Great, great.
–114th St & Broadway
