Guy #1: Oh my god, Jim, when I was straight 20 years ago I would have though that Julia was so hot.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, totally hot.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Guy #1: Oh my god, Jim, when I was straight 20 years ago I would have though that Julia was so hot.
Guy #2: Oh yeah, totally hot.
–14th St & 1st Ave
Lady on cell: She must have been humiliated by the parade of wives!
–Broadway & 72nd
Man to friend: Whenever I want to fuck my wife, she doesn't want to. But when I can't, she always wants to. I think she does it out of spite.
–12th St
(Elton John's Rocketman playing on radio) "I miss the Earth so much… I miss my wife…"
Barista: You don't miss your wife, Elton. You're gay!
–Small Coffee Shop, SoHo
Midget handing out fliers: Who likes comedy? (to man in striped shirt) Hey, do you like comedy? I like striped shirts, let's work something out here!
(man keeps walking)
Midget, yelling after him: No wonder your wife doesn't love you!
–Union Square Subway
30-something guy: Dude, that's so rude. Plus, she's going to be your wife soon, so you've got to stop calling her that.
–Hell's Kitchen
Random hipster guy: So yeah, I’ve lived here forever and I don’t know any Russians. I really want to know one.
Farm stand sales girl: Really? That’s so funny! I just met one a few days ago at some bar. I think he gave me his number.
Random hipster guy: Awesome! Would you give me his number? I really want to know a Russian. I mean, I’m not gay or anything, I just want to know him. You wanna give me his number?
Farm stand sales girl: Sure, here.
–SoHo Farmer’s Market
Overheard by: Kate
Ballerino: Everyone’s a little bi, you know.
–Juilliard cafeteria
Chick: girl: I’m starting to get a crush on my boss because she sometimes looks like a man.
–F train
Girl: …and he stuck it so far up my ass, I couldn’t sit down the next day.
–Times Square
Guy #1: I dont understand why they gotta touch little boys.
Guy #2: Hmmm.
Guy #1: You touch little boys?!
Guy #2: No honey, I just touch grown men.
–Wall Street
Overheard by: Dj Dharma
Drunk hipster: Since when did the vagina become the font of all morality?
–110th & Amsterdam
Girl running in pajamas: Oh my god my vagina is so cold!
–50th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: Matt
Girl proclaiming: I saw the vagina.
–NYU
Acting student: You have a vagina and he’s all into that. I have a penis and he’s not all into that. That’s why you have to do this for me.
–Archbold Theater
Overheard by: nice
Crazy black woman: I know my pussy! You don’t know my pussy! Haha! You can’t say you know my pussy, I know my pussy! Haha, hah! If you can’t find my pussy, you can’t say you’re not too big!
–114th & Broadway
Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze
Nondescript guy on cell phone: So, were the vaginas ok?
–55th St & 8th
Construction worker #1: Want to have sex in the bathroom?
Construction worker #2: Not right now.
–E 28th St
Tourist to no one in particular: Which way is the gay area?
Queer in black leather gear: You’re here.
Tourist: Where are the gay stores?
Queer in black leather gear: All around here.
Tourist: Where are the gay people?
Tourist friend: I think they go out more in the night time, right?
Queer in black leather gear: Go back to Kansas.
–16th & 8th
Overheard by: amalia
Gay guy #1: I’m not sure how big he was…?
Gay guy #2: All I know is that when a guy is that big, the next day I have such bad flatulence and diarrhea, it’s ridiculous…
–A Train
Overheard by: brainygirl
Drunk lesbian: Straight cheerleader bitches. I love it.
Girl next to her: Did you just call me a straight cheerleader bitch?
Drunk lesbian: I love you. Fuck you, cheerleader.
–Ani DiFranco Concert
Overheard by: alxie
